Horizon
by Make A Shadow
Summary: Everyone is beginning to sound like a broken record. There's no second prison world, no such thing as Heretics, no one questioning why Bonnie Bennett suddenly wants distance from the two girls she'd grown up with and worked so damn hard to get back to. Maybe the question isn't why they don't believe her, but why doesn't she believe them? Post 6x16 AU
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** Horizon  
 **Category:** The Vampire Diaries  
 **Genre:** Angst/Romance  
 **Rating:** T, later chapters could possibly be M  
 **Pairing:** Bonkai

 **Summary:** Everyone is beginning to sound like a broken record. There's no second prison world, no such thing as Heretics, no one questioning why Bonnie Bennett suddenly wants distance from the two girls she'd grown up with and worked so damn hard to get back to. Maybe the question isn't why they don't believe her, but why doesn't she believe them? Post 6x16 AU

 **Author's Note:** Well, this is the first multi-chapter fic I've posted in a very long time. I'm crossing my fingers I don't muck it up. Uh, what are the particulars? I may or may not be retcon-ing the end of the season because none of that hogwash made any kind of sense. But we shall see. I still very much ship Bamon and Bonkai, so I imagine feels for both will surface. Also, the major question to keep in mind is _why_ would a coven who could so easily make a prison world make so few of them?

 **Disclaimer:** Folsom City Blues belongs to Johnny Cash and these characters belong to people who don't love them like I love them.

* * *

i.

It's a weird sensation breathing with a collapsed lung.

When she was younger, the Gilbert backyard was _her_ backyard. One sweltering summer day, she swung back and forth on the red and blue stripped monkey bars while a shaggy haired, ten year old Jeremy Gilbert watched underfoot. He'd snatch at her ankles but only got fists full of warm air. She would lift her legs out of his reach, giggle, and swing for the next rung. It only took one time for him to grab her right foot and yank. Her fingers slipped and she collided with the ground. Hard. Dirt scrubbing at her face. The air rushed out of her and for what seemed like forever she wheezed and coughed until her lungs decided to work again.

This felt like that. The circumstances being different, of course. Her laid on her back, tears rolling down the sides of her face, the chandelier above hanging by shorted out wires. Shattered glass. Blood stained flowers. And the humming of a man who'd lost what little bit of sanity he started with. Between futile gasps to catch a breath, she tried to place the song but she couldn't.

He'd hum and chat, very well knowing she couldn't actually talk back. There were pins and needles in her feet and legs and arms and fingers, and invisible weight as heavy as a boulder on her chest.

Then he was gone. His head with that sickening grin separated from the rest of his body. And her best friend was gone, tucked away in a casket in the Salvatore crypt. Like a princess out of a fairy tale. And she was left with a guilty ache in her gut.

Somehow this was all _her_ fault.

 _x_

She wakes to humming.

Laid on her stomach, her cheek pressed against soft cloth. Shaking off the blanket of sleep, her eyes adjust to the gentle light. She spies the lanky blonde on the bed across from her. Curled in on herself, her foot tucked in her palm as she paints her toes fire hydrant red, flowing, yellow curls worthy of Rapunzel quivering with each note.

" _I shot a man in Reno just to watch him die._ "

This can't be right.

Bonnie bolts up, her back colliding with the wall. Underneath her is a mustard quilt with a matching pillowcase. This isn't her bed or her dorm. There's a desk yards away from the foot of the bed and one on the other side of the room, no fireplace, a bike in front of the closet door, no Caroline. No Elena.

Liv Parker glances over, boredom in her eyes, and arches her eyebrow. "You stroking out over that, Bennett? You were snoring pretty loudly. I almost couldn't hear myself think."

"You're dead."

"Not last I checked. Very much on this side of grace."

"You died. Your whole coven. Ka..." She doesn't finish that sentence, looks around. "Where am I? Is this your dorm room?"

Liv screws her nail polish shut, sets it aside. "You're screwing with me, right? You're the one who requested a dorm switch. I'm just the lucky girl who had the only other free bed on campus."

" _I_ did?"

"...You are stroking out and I'm not a nursing major. Sorry."

She shakes her head, thinks back. Dead witches and warlocks strewn across the floor. Splintered wood and decaying bouquets everywhere. She saw _her_. Her curls were cut shorter, blood mucking up the tendrils, but Liv was there and she was very much dead.

Bonnie's had this nightmare before, or ones like it. Dreams where she's the Anchor to the Other Side once more and is haunted by people she used to know. Vicki. Anna. Grams. Kol. She's woken up screaming so many times she learned to sleep with her face in her pillow.

"I saw you dead. At Jo's wedding. Your whole family. Tyler killed you, I think."

Liv's already perpetually stern face turns severe, her pink mouth curling into a snarl. "Okay, Bonnie. This little game you're playing isn't funny anymore. I'm not dead. No one's dead...apart from Luke. But Jo is fine. I am fine. So chill, _all right_."

Sinking her teeth into her bottom lip, she nods. She doesn't believe her but doesn't argue. She gets up and looks out the window to her left. They're in a corner dorm. The size is a fraction of the room she shared with Caroline and Elena but has better natural lighting. Outside the sun sinks behind the science building, a halo over the roof.

"You said I applied for the dorm switch."

"Yuh. Something about feeling smothered. I didn't ask too many questions, but I don't blame you. I'd feel suffocated by that many vampires around me too, and I grew up with a coven of witches banking on my brother and I killing each other."

"And you let me move in with you?"

The girls meet the other's gazes.

"I figured it meant you forgave me for last year. Me flirting with your boyfriend and trying to kill your best friends and all." Bonnie's stomach churns at 'best friends', but she swallows it down. Liv goes on. "Figured someone told you how I tried to help..."

"With what?"

"Getting you back from the prison world. I was the one who sent Damon and Elena back to ninety-four to get you." She tugs at the maw of a hole in the elbow of her grey sweater. Sticks her hand into it to scratch at her arm. "Are you okay? I can go get Elena if you want. Wait, no, someone actually useful, maybe. Caroline?"

"Neither, thanks." Bonnie sits, tries to gather how much time she's lost. "What about your... Where's Kai?"

Liv shrugs. "Around."

"Around…like around here?"

"That's pretty much what that word means."

This just keeps getting more and more frustrating. _What day is it? What the hell is going on?_ "Serious question: did I or did I not go with Kai, Damon, and Elena to the nineteen oh three prison world?"

The blonde witch's face crumples. "There is no other prison world. None but Kai's."

"Yes, there is. Damon's mom is there."

"Okay. I was warned about this. You're clearly losing grip on reality, which I guess is to be expected since you were alone for months. Nineteen ninety-four is the only prison world constructed by the Gemini coven. If you're referring to Lily Salvatore, her and her band of ripper misfits were killed on a ship in the New York harbor in nineteen oh-three. She's just a ghost story, a myth, something my coven uses to scare us growing up. The dangers of dabbling with vampires, I guess. A count your blessings sort of thing, like Berenstein Bears." She then goes from sympathetic to scoffing. "Who in their right mind would let a ripper like her live even in another universe?"

"The same coven who let Kai live."

She noticeably shifts, scratching at her arm again. "He was the son of a coven leader. It was down to our father and he thought to spare Kai the fate he'd resigned so many of my siblings. My dad's a dick, but that was an act of mercy. I would've rather seen him skinned alive, but here we are."

Bonnie sighs, settles back down on the bed she woke up from, her bed, and Liv watches her. This is the most they've talked since she moved in. "Did they tell you?"

"Tell me what?"

"That I tried to help. I did try."

"I know, Liv." She gives her a reassuring smile, close lipped, but it doesn't reach her eyes.

 _x_

"I feel like I woke up from a really bad dream."

Matt Donovan grins over at her, a red plastic cup in his hand. "You still live here. Are you sure you're awake?"

They're lounged in the bed of his truck. Her leather jacket shrugged on her shoulders over a nice lacy garnet dress, she pats the picnic blanket warming her bare legs. Matt's in dark jeans and a plaid button down. It's beyond Bonnie why he's keeping her company when he could be making eyes at some nice college girl. One who's never heard of Mystic Falls, or vampires or witches outside of Halloween movies.

It's been years since she's been to a party by the Falls, maybe junior year of high school, and it's actually kind of nice out. Yeah, co-eds are getting drunk and hooking up just past the treeline, but the sun's set, the sky is cloudless, and the woods can be a pleasant place—when you're not running from something. For so long, she's been running…

Her attention is caught by the ashes flickering above the nearby barrel. Moments later, Matt's cup sails through the air and is consumed by the fire.

"It was all so vivid. Another prison world, stabbing Kai and leaving him there. Caroline with her humanity off and whatever convoluted spell Kai concocted linking my life to Elena's. 'One can't live while the other survives' kind of thing."

He burps, his fist to his mouth. "Sounds trippy."

"But none of it sounds familiar? None of it actually happened?"

"Come on, Bon. If anyone was going to shut off their humanity, Caroline would be last on that list. We both know she makes being a vampire look like a walk in the park. Hell, she makes everything look like a walk in the park. She is the Caroline Forbes of legend."

"Here, here."

Bonnie lifts her water bottle in agreement, her eyes drifting to the aforementioned blonde down by the water. She sits cross-legged on a dry wrought log, Stefan Salvatore close by her side. Though both girls know of the other's presence, they haven't spoken tonight. Bonnie can tell Caroline isn't keen on partying. Getting plastered and sloppily making out with the younger Salvatore isn't her idea of sublimating since her mother's passing.

But Matt's right. Caroline's smart, smarter than most. She doesn't throw tantrums or kowtow to complications. She faces them headfirst. She'll get through her grief without the bloodshed that's plagued so many others. Unfortunately, instead of Bonnie going over and telling her friend all those things, bile coats her tongue. So she tosses back a swig of water and changes the subject.

"I'm rooming with Liv."

Matt frowns. "I know. I'm the one who helped you move all your stuff. I figured since you told me we had to do it while Caroline and Elena were in their exams meant something went down between you guys."

"Did something?"

"I didn't ask. I try to stay out of stuff like that. Besides, you'd let me know when the time was right."

"Well, if something did, I can't even remember what it was."

"It'll come back to you."

She leans her head back, rests it on the side of the truck, and gazes up at the stars. Closing her eyes, she can hear the rush of the Falls. Water gurgling and splashing.

Images roll through her mind of cool spring days when she and Jeremy would take turns trying to dunk each other's heads under the water – she'd always wiggle away to the sound of Caroline's and Elena's laughter – and warm summer nights when her and Matt would float on their backs. It was only a matter of time that she would trade in her bikini for a red one-piece and a whistle.

 _Do you know why I'm here? Because my guilt keeps me up at night._

She opens her eyes, forcing herself to focus on the here and now. "That dream really messed me up. I feel like I've missed so much. Everything is different somehow."

Matt hums, raking his hand through his hair. "Hm. Well, you were gone for nearly a year."

"Yeah…"

He groans getting up, hops out of the back of the truck, and slaps the red siding. "When Bonnie Bennett has a hunch, you don't ignore it. We're going for a ride."

The side of her mouth ticks upwards, but then she furrows her brow. "Wait, what did you just say?"

"We're going for a ride?"

"No, the first part."

"When Bonnie Bennett has a hunch, you don't ignore it?" he repeats, his expression going dopey.

"Huh." He'd said that to her before. In her dream. Before they'd both been choked into unconsciousness in the basement of the Salvatore boarding house and she'd been drained of her blood. A piece of duct tape wrapped crudely around her wrist. "Déjà vu."

She climbs out and gets into the driver's seat, Matt scooting in beside her. "Where exactly are we going?"

"To the person who generally has the answers. You just have to ask the right questions."

Bonnie rolls her eyes, a grin playing at her lips. "Of course. Damon."


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note:** I wholeheartedly appreciate the reviews for the first chapter. Truly. I hate to say that reviews are my fuel but it does let me know if people are interested, so thank you! And full disclosure: I was really hoping that Liv and Bonnie would be friends on the show. One, because I wasn't terribly fond of the actress on Hemlock Grove and wanted to give her another chance. Two, because Bonnie needs more friends. Better friends. Witch friends, preferably. So maybe this is some sort of wish fulfillment since I should know better than to put my faith in Plec and co. Sigh.

* * *

ii.

They don't drive to the boarding house. Bonnie and Matt go back to Whitmore and find Damon at the bar around the corner from campus. Liv's ignoring his need for a refill. His eyes contemplate murder. With Elena doing rounds with Jo at the hospital, this is his Thursday night.

It's Thirsty Thursday, so the place is plenty packed and Matt has to push through a group of frat brothers to make way for Bonnie to get to the bar. When she taps at Damon's shoulder, a spark is sent through her system and she pulls away. She frowns but he's sufficiently buzzed. He doesn't notice. He sends a lingering glare in Liv's direction before leading them to a small booth against the wall. It's meant for two people, so Bonnie and Matt squeeze in on one side, their thighs pushed against each other.

"You're a sight for sore eyes, Bonbon," he says with secret humor but an edge of bitterness. She could get confused, wonder why, of all people, she'd want distance from Damon, but she pushes past it. They need, _she_ needs the answers to more urgent matters.

"What happened to your mom?"

He sniffs, averts his eyes. "She died of consumption in eighteen fifty-eight."

"So she's not a ripper stuck in a prison world with a family of Heretics?"

"What the hell is a Heretic?"

"A vampire who once was a witch, who couldn't generate his or her own power. When they transition, they have the ability to use their vampirism as a source of magic."

Damon doesn't mean it mean but bursts into deep bellied laughter. Matt looks around awkwardly, hoping no one's paying attention to the obviously nonsensical conversation they're having. Bonnie's frown deepens, boring a glare like laser beams into Damon's face. She's used to being patronized by him. She never grew to appreciate it, though.

He settles and takes another sip of his drink. "You of all people should know that's impossible. I turned your mom, Bonnie. Esther, the Original Witch, turned her own witch children. If there were a way to be both a vampire and a witch, we would've known about that by now. Probably would've saved us a lot of trouble."

"It only happens to witches if they can't generate their own magic to begin with. Like, if someone turned Kai."

Blood. So much blood. A sinister smile paired with dead eyes. That taunting laugh void of humor. _This is kind of all your fault_ rings in her ears as if he'd just whispered it with hot breath on her neck.

She shivers and glances at Matt, worry coloring his crystal blue gaze.

"It's an impossibility, Bon." He knocks back what little is left of his bourbon and signals for another. Liv, again, ignores him. He mumbles something about tying her to the bumper of his car and driving through town with her bones rattling like Campbell's soup cans.

" _Damon..._ I saw your mom. I caught her on camera. She... She's on the camcorder I brought back with me! Red hair, Victorian dress, your eyes. She was there!"

He sighs, leans forward, making an expression like he's trying to explain nuclear physics to a seven year old. "When you came back from ninety-four, you were delirious. You had broken bones, an ear infection, and massive dehydration. I gave you my blood so many times, I was worried you'd turn simply by consuming so much.

"That video you brought back with you... You were having an episode, a delusion. You were talking to yourself. Bonnie, you were alone."

"Then how do I know what she looks like?"

"Lucky guess? You Bennett women have mighty imaginations." She doesn't take that as a compliment. "You know, I brought up maybe you going to a therapist a few weeks back, or at least talking to Jo, and you almost flayed me alive, so I don't know what to tell you."

There's that feeling again. Self-doubt meeting pride. Her entire body swelling with the sense of knowing exactly what the hell she's talking about and then being looked at as if she's speaking a dead language. No. Gibberish. Damon is acting like she's spouting nonsense. A baby babbling to its parent and then throwing a temper tantrum because the parent has no clue what it's saying.

"Look, there is no other prison world. My mother died of consumption in eighteen fifty-eight and you can't be both a witch and a vampire. End of story."

"Fine." She sits back and folds her arms across her chest. Dejected. She's got a sneaking suspicion she's not wrong, but so far all signs point to her being far from right. Grimacing, she looks up to meet Damon's waiting gaze. "Can you at least tell me how I managed to switch dorms this late in the semester?"

"That's easy. I compelled your RA for you. Something about witches gotta stick with witches or whatever the hell. I just figured it'd mean more alone time with Elena without her roommates barging in." He wags his thick, black brows.

Bonnie and Matt simultaneously roll their eyes.

 _x_

Everyone is beginning to sound like a broken record. There's no second prison world, no such thing as Heretics, no one questioning why she suddenly wants distance from the two girls she'd grown up with and worked so damn hard to get back to. Maybe the question isn't why they don't believe her, but why doesn't she believe them?

When they return to campus, Matt tramps his way towards Tyler's dorm building to sober up and she decides to stop by her old room. She gets the top of the stairs when she rethinks it. Caroline and Elena won't be there and her stomach drops every time the thought of going to see them or talking to them crosses her mind. Like riding a roller coaster. Or driving through a pothole disguised as a puddle. The closer she gets, the stronger the sickness. Wrapping her arm around her torso, she hurries down the corridor past the dorm room.

Her nausea swirling, it takes all she has to make it back to Liv's dorm. Having broken into a cold sweat, her clammy hands fumble with the keys and lightheadedness causes her to nearly fall through the doorway.

"Don't you look horrible."

Kai Parker lounges on her bed, his nimble hands twisting above him. Between him and her, Liv's bike levitates in the air, wheels spinning at a languid pace. He doesn't have to look at it to keep it floating, only having eyes for her.

She shuts the door to lean against it and save her strength. It's hard to recall a time when her and him in the same space didn't result in one trying to kill the other. That's their stasis. Besides, the last time she saw him, he used his magic to slam her back against a wall, which collapsed one of her lungs. No, wait. That was in her dream and Heretics don't exist, right? Then it would've been him calling her name, pleading really, as she recited the spell that would leave him in 1903.

...1994 is the only prison world, so when had she last seen him? If it wasn't those two times, that meant it wasn't at the diner. Was it in the hallway of the nightclub? The look of fucking sublimity in his eyes as an apology fell from his lips. Did _that_ even happen? Thanksgiving, then. She was positive that day was real. The scar under her right breast twinges just thinking about spaghetti and wine and the Oregon countryside.

It hurts to think about what did or didn't happen, so she pinches her nose and squeezes her eyelids shut. "Why are you here?"

"A little birdie told me you've had a lot of questions today. Figured I'd help you sort some stuff out."

"You _figured_... That's all anyone has said to me today. They _figured_. They made these assumptions and let me go about unquestioned and unchallenged. Liv, Matt, Damon… God knows who else or what else I've gotten away with."

He pokes out his bottom lip. "You've had a rough couple of months, Bon. I'm sure they don't want to disrupt your delicate sensibilities."

She glares, weakly murmurs "motis" at the bike, and sends it slamming against the dresser. The handlebar clatters on the floor and wheels bend in half, spokes poking out. He's had plenty of examples and this is another of just how delicate she isn't. Bonnie Bennett is durable and dangerous, and he knows better than most to not push her.

" _Okay_." He sits up with a no-nonsense expression. His face is scruffy and haircut boyish, not the hackjob he had on him at the wedding. The wedding in her dream. He's buffer somehow, a combination of his post-merge self and abandoned in 1903 physique. "Ask away, young Padawan."

She crosses her arms. "I'm not talking to my best friends anymore. Why?"

"You tell me. I mean, I'm sure you're chockfull of valid reasons. One of them is pretty damn whiny, even with those doe eyes of hers. And the other is every occupation Barbie ever had wrapped into one. Ugh." He shudders then cocks his head to the side, squinting. "That is a nice dress, by the way. Legs…"

She doesn't mean to but looks down self-consciously. Running every morning in 1994 was one way she maintained some semblance of sanity and her calves are proof of that. She's gotten really good at running... "Get serious, Kai," and she's careful to not let her tongue stumble over his name.

"That is seriously a nice dress, Bon. "

She rolls her eyes against the pounding in her head—and the compliment. "I get physically ill just thinking about my friends."

"Me, too!" He beams, gleeful they can agree on something. Finally.

"Cut the sarcasm. I ditched _my_ friends to room with _your_ sister. I don't know why and I don't know if you know this but, Liv and I, not the best track record between us."

"You're more alike than you think. Loyal and stubborn as all hell, both of you. This could be a second chance." He shrugs. "Besides, witches gotta stick together."

"That's what Damon said I said..."

"Then you are a lot smarter than I tend to give you credit."

"What about the nineteen oh-three prison world? The Heretics? You are coven leader now. You'd know better than anyone."

He slouches over, sets his elbows on his knees. "My little spit of hell is the only one in existence and Heretics are a myth. You think that if they existed I would've waited so long to get my own magic? No way, Jose. Screw the merge, sign me up to be a blood vacuum."

"You hate vampires."

"I do find them mildly repulsive, but a little blood standing in the way of me being a full-fledged witch isn't an entirely new concept. No, a vampire-witch hybrid is campfire fodder for my coven. Like the boogey man."

Nausea passing, Bonnie sits at the foot of Liv's bed, meets Kai's unwavering gaze, and chews on the inside of her cheek. "All day I've felt like I'm losing my mind. Liv, Damon, Matt, they all seem like they're pandering to me. Like I can't handle the truth."

She exhales, accepting that maybe she really did dream it all. "You never did that to me. Withheld information, sure. Told me what you thought I'd want to hear, yeah, but you never sugarcoated it."

Glancing up through her long lashes, she notes how intensely he's watching her. She has his undivided attention and feels the temperature in the room rise several degrees. "So, riddle me this. A coven as powerful as the Geminis, a spell as handy as the one for a prison world, and a world full of evil. And yet they made only one of those dark dimensions.

"Why?"

He smiles, his gaze traveling from her ankles, up her legs, over her knees and thighs to her face, but his blue eyes are cold. "I will be sure to ask the elders at the next potluck."

Kai stands and steps toward her. She tenses when his hand finds her shoulder, but his touch is gentle. Maybe he does it to prove he can touch her without causing harm. A chill runs up her spine regardless. It's when he leans forward and presses his soft lips to her damp forehead that she goes rigid. His kiss lasts only a second, Liv bustling into the room muttering to herself.

"I swear if they give me the closing shift on Thursdays one more time…" She stops in her tracks, taking in the sight of Kai standing extremely close to Bonnie and Bonnie looking as confused and skittish as she did waking up this afternoon.

Kai moves away, nods at Liv, calling her "sissy", and walks out of the room.

"I'm not even going to ask."

Bonnie clears her dry throat. "He was here when I got here."

"Huh. I don't actually care, but you look like a little kid who saw the monster under her bed. So, how did it go?"

Wide, green eyes peer over at the blonde. She and Liv aren't what she'd consider _friends_ , but she needs to feel like she can talk to somebody, anybody. Bonnie thinks to move to her own bed, but she's rooted to the spot, struck by the effects of his gesture. The ghost of the imprint of his lips just between her eyes. Him leaving without a second glance in her direction. The subsequent heat rising from her collarbones. "He answered the questions I've been having."

"Oh, the whole _I see dead people_ thing?" She says it with a smirk and hand gestures, both falling when she realizes Bonnie isn't amused. "My bad. I shouldn't joke like that." Liv peels out of her jacket and tosses it on her desk.

"It's just...that dream. I've had a few bad run-ins with premonitions like that. And I think I've got some empty spots in my memory from the last few weeks."

"You portal jumped from a different dimension after escaping oblivion. After having died twice, that is. Even I can't fault you if you forget what you had for breakfast." She throws her hair off her shoulder, cautiously sits beside Bonnie, and takes in the girl's profile. The slope of her nose, blush painting her cheekbones, and perspiring yet pale face. She doesn't look well.

"I know I said I wasn't going to ask, but… Where does Kai kissing you factor into all of this?"

Bonnie's gut churns. Something in his eyes caused her doubt to resurface. There's something he didn't tell her, something he's keeping from her. And yet, she's got the strangest feeling that he's the only one who knows the truth. Whatever that may be.

Her forehead burns from where he placed his lips and she can't believe he kissed her, can't believe she let him into her personal space. She's made that mistake too many times before and hasn't she learned better by now?

"I think I'm going to be sick."

She barely makes it to the wastebasket before her stomach empties. Between her retching and beyond the blood pounding in her ears, she hears Liv groan and the mattress creak.

"What the hell happened to my bike?"


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note:** So... I'm holding myself to one chapter a week (fingers crossed). I do have three jobs and do volunteer work, so this time of year is pretty hectic for me. But writing helps me to not spiral into a ball of human rage over this show, because let's be real. Trying to unpack the nonsense that was the end of season six is its own undertaking. Bonnie does get (some) answers this chapter and some other questions are raised.

Also, let me know if that is not the name of the bar. I couldn't find anything online about it. I mean, I _could_ rewatch season five and the parts of season six that aren't about the prison world, but between you and me - that's not going to happen.

* * *

iii.

"Think of it as your fresh start."

"Huh."

Liv, with arms spread in a dramatic gesture, beams as she looks upon her kingdom. The Skullery Bar. It's Monday, just past noon. Bonnie stands at her side, her expression much more skeptical. Somehow, Liv talked her boss into hiring Bonnie, a girl who'd never mixed a drink that she didn't first google – but she can drink her Bourbon straight, which is apparently impressive enough for a job interview.

"Fresh start," she mimics.

"Dump your old, lame friends, embrace your witchy side, and make an assload of money doing it. Seriously. You make a good drink and wink at the right guy, and he will tip you like he wants to marry you."

A blunt object pokes into her ribcage and it startles Bonnie to find it's just Liv's elbow.

She didn't ask for this, didn't mention needing a job or a distraction. The blonde took it upon herself to get her boss interested. It would mean splitting her shifts, and, yeah, she'd have to pick up a few more catering jobs to recuperate her hours, but Bonnie's been holed up in their dorm all weekend and, okay, it's getting weird. Well, weirder.

Bonnie told her it was just a stomach bug and she'd be fine. But it was too late. Liv already convinced the guy who owned the bar and Bonnie needed to do more than subject Damon to the "Bennett Inquisition". But it totally was not that. Inquisition suggests tools of torture and manipulation. All Bonnie had done was text him.

"It _totally_ is. And since when is Damon Salvatore the be all, end all of knowledge? He's pretty clueless if you ask me."

"I didn't."

Liv took the jest in stride. "Whatever. Go talk to my boss. Even just to say you did. And then you can go back to Nancy Drew-ing your life. If that's what you really want…"

So here they are. He hires Bonnie within ten minutes of meeting her and she can't say she's disappointed. He's cute, with his tousled blond hair and shirt sleeves rolled up to his elbows, wrists to collar bone tattoos partly visible. Said he knew her Grams, she was good people. But also there is something about Liv's persistence that reminds Bonnie of Caroline and, since she can't go anywhere near that friend, she'll settle for this one. Yeah, she supposes Liv is her friend. In an antagonistic way.

"Catch."

Liv chucks a crumpled up white, waist apron, which Bonnie catches with her face. When she receives a glare, she shrugs. "I said catch."

Bonnie wraps the apron around herself, letting it settle on her hips. A couple students study. Midterms are coming up, their textbooks scattered across tables. It's sunny outside but the tinted windows provide a nice bit of shade.

She's been given the breakdown. They'll be playing double duty, bartenders-slash-waitresses. Around this time of year, the college aged staff quits to focus on the end of the year, spring break, to move back home for the summer, et cetera. "The bossman liked you because Mystic Falls is right around the corner. Either way, you're a safe bet." Liv steers clear of any talk of her own after-semester plans.

"I usually come in first thing and wash glasses, restock the napkin holders, sweep... Stuff like that. Why don't you do the napkins and I'll get the shot glasses from the back?"

"Shot glasses? It's barely noon."

"Hey. Rule number one: We don't judge." She turns away, thinks better of herself, and turns back. Tips her head to the side. "You'll know when to judge. Usually around the fourth or fifth drink. Most people hold less liquor than they think they can. Humans and preternatural beings alike."

Liv disappears into the kitchen and Bonnie sighs, her nerves getting the best of her. She wipes her clammy hands on her apron and gives a few audible exhales. Picks up the empty metal napkin canister from a nearby table.

She tells herself she needs to be watching her back for the next threat, because there is always another threat. She hasn't ruled out Kai, not as long as he's walking around freely. Not as long as he's breathing. But she also has exams to study for, and it's not going to do her any good to keep having Damon compel her professors into giving her extensions for assignments on material she's never read. She's got enough on her plate.

Then again, she's taken on the unkillable Original and, through no fault of her own, almost killed him. She's faced death and come back smiling. She's the Bennett prodigy for crying out loud. This is her fresh start, right? She can handle a minimum wage job. With tips.

Liv comes back with a cart of drinking glasses and packages of napkins. She hands the napkins to Bonnie, tells her to "skip to".

Sometime later, Bonnie's wiping down tables while Liv weaves around the room and under chairs with a mop, the air strident with the scent of disinfectant. Bonnie looks up just in time to watch Kai stroll past the windows of the bar. Inwardly, she pleads with whoever or whatever might be listening that he keep on walking and, to her surprise, he does. "Hey, Liv?"

"Yup?"

"Hypothetically..." She looks around to make sure no one else is within earshot. "If whoever your coven leader is at the time dies, what happens to the prison worlds? Do they cease to exist or do the gates just...unlock and bleed the worlds together?"

Her eyebrow hitches but her tone is bored albeit reproachful. "There's only one prison world, Bonnie."

"I know. _Hypothetically if there were more than one_. I mean, I've never heard or read of any other covens making something like that. It's like the Gemini coven's modus operandi. So, what would happen?"

She straightens up, one hand on the mop handle and the other on her hip. Then her expression goes blank for a long minute. Stoic isn't the word for it. Neither is dead, but Bonnie doesn't exactly know how to explain it. Her wide blue eyes are kind of alarming boring into Bonnie like this, like there's nothing behind them.

She shifts her attention around the room and wonders if anyone else is aware of this exchange.

Liv shakes out of her trance and goes back to mopping. "Blink out of existence. It, they, whatever, are bound by the combined power of my coven. If its leader dies, we all die, and bye bye prison world. _Worlds._ Oh! And my brother keeps asking me about you and it's really starting to creep me out. More than usual."

Bonnie grimaces. "Welcome to my universe."

 _x_

Her shift ends before the dinner rush, and Bonnie hauls ass to her dorm room.

It was so strange. When she asked Liv that question, her face didn't clench like one's does when she's thinking. It wasn't pensive. It went blank. Like a robot in reboot. Everyone else has spat out their responses with a sense of ease. But Liv is the only one who's shown any sign of hesitation, the only one who hasn't acted like she knows the answers to questions before they leave Bonnie's tongue. And for some reason, that sets Bonnie to thinking.

On her knees she finds it, pulls Liv's grimoire from under the girl's mattress. It's much different than her Grams'. The leather cover is black, sleek, smooth, and smells of bergamot. The pages aren't yellowed or wax paper-y thin. It's a sturdy stock of paper and the pages are dog-eared here and highlighted there. A study manual.

She flips through searching for keywords. Prison world. Boundary spells. Binding spells. Anything that looks like it can be triggered by the death of a witch. She can't understand everything. Some spells are Latin, some Gaelic. She'd bet money the Geminis are descended from Druids.

Front to back, back to front, Bonnie studies that grimoire the way she should be studying her business law textbook. But from what she can tell, Liv is right. Most of the spells require channeling the entire coven's power. The magic which binds so many of their spells could essentially last hundreds of years, since control of the coven is passed down through the generations. But no Gemini coven leader means no coven, and no coven means no prison world.

She slumps into a cross-legged position, her head resting against the side of her bed. Maybe Kai is messing with her. He knows that if something feels the tad bit off, her suspicions will have her crawling after him for answers. He does know how she loves puzzles, how she's always been a fixer. Maybe it was only a dream and this really is the real world. She made it home, decided she's better off distancing herself from her friends to focus on other things. And Kai is now as harmless as cherry pie.

Maybe she's not quite satisfied with that.

She stuffs Liv's grimoire back in its hiding spot and pulls out her phone, scrolls through the inbox. Over the weekend while she laid sick in bed, she'd urged Damon to humor her and he did so grudgingly.

How exactly did she get out of 1994? With the help of a fire warped Ascendent, they managed to get her to remember there was magic on the headstone in Nova Scotia. With that magic, she could portal jump through the eclipse and voila!

"Liv helped with that?"

"Hell, no. She almost jeopardized the whole plan. It was Kai who did the spell."

"You're kidding."

"I never kid."

"Why would Kai help?"

"It was your birthday."

"Okay, but really. Why would he help? He's the one who left me there."

"I am a man of many talents, Bonnie Bennett, but I cannot attempt to understand the workings of a madman."

"I remember something about a nightclub…"

"Oh, yeah, that happened. I realize now there's a reason why Elena isn't the one to throw celebratory events. Instead of a nice dinner at a quiet Italian restaurant or just a small get together at the boarding house, she thought the best thing for a girl with PTSD to do is to get back into the world. By way of a hot and sweaty rave."

He also mentioned that Bonnie tried to invite Caroline, but it'd only been a day since the funeral and she'd said, "no, you guys go and have a good time." But she has no memory of _that_ happening.

If there's no other prison world and Damon's mom is long dead... "Why in the hell did you bring Kai there?"

"He seemed sincere about wanting to apologize and truth be told, okay, yes, he left you in '94 but he also did more than some people to help get you out. I didn't think your reaction to seeing him would be so..."

"Violent?"

"Visceral. I have the tendency to underestimate your magical abilities but overestimate your emotional ability to handle difficult situations."

"Because it's so easy to shrug away someone who's tried to kill you."

"You did it with me." And he caps it with a semi-colon, closed parenthesis. Wink.

"Don't remind me... What about the cure? Did I give that to you already?"

At that point, he waited about an hour to respond and when he did he was short about it. "No, Bonnie. You gave the cure to Elena. She took it. I found out after the fact"

So she came back with the cure...and cut out the middle man by giving it to Elena herself. She could see why that might be a sore spot for Damon, given his doubt over his on-again, off-again girlfriend's true affections for him. Does she love him because of the sirebond and is that still a factor in their relationship? Does she love him because she's prideful and can't backtrack to the younger Salvatore? Or are her feelings genuine and Damon can finally stop self-sabotaging?

The only way he could prepare for whichever outcome would've been to be the one to present the cure to Elena. And apparently Bonnie stripped him of that chance. That could explain his chilly nature when she'd met him at the bar, but she'd deal with his pettiness later.

"Anything else?"

"Yeah," she had replied. "Has Elena said anything at all about why I moved out? If I gave her the cure, that would put us on good terms. Was I mad at her for something?"

"Ask her yourself."

He sent that Sunday morning. A full twelve hours after her previous text. She'd rolled over, read the text, rolled her eyes, and then went back to sleep. They haven't spoken since.

Bonnie tosses her phone up on her bed.

The sun lowers in the sky and Liv formulated a spell, which causes the candles around the room to light themselves in time with the sky growing darker. A glow settles around the dorm and Bonnie notices something.

Scrambling to her feet, she toes over to her desk. In between moving dorm rooms, she got rid of half of her wardrobe. Twenty-one is a good age to stop with the frumpy layers. But somewhere during that time, she's come to acquire a figurine. A ceramic, red bird. A paperweight but also a bookend, except it is missing its twin. It sits watching her from beside her textbooks and she picks it up, rolls it in her hands.

She's been a jewelry girl. Necklaces with long chains. Beads. Layered necklaces. Chunky, gaudy pendants that even had her second-guessing their appeal. She's experimented with her hair. She had bangs, okay. And she has enough sweaters in storage that she could quit college and graduate to cat lady right now.

But she's never been one for trinkets. So how did she come across this? It's nice, she'll admit. Good craftsmanship with attention to the intricate detailing of the feathers, the beak, the tucked under feet. The bird is carved as if it's roosting and the shade of red compliments her bedspread.

She sets it down, deciding she accidentally took something that belonged to Caroline. This is definitely more her style. Snatching her phone, she swallows her apprehension and quickly dials Caroline's number. It rings and rings and just as Caroline's voice crackles over the receiver, Bonnie is hit with a warm wave of vertigo and everything goes black.

What's the catch? _I'll go if you go…_

When she comes to, for the briefest of moments she thinks it's Kai gazing down at her. His hair flopping over his forehead, his cool grey eyes peering back at her. Cold hands cradle Bonnie's face, the chants of an incantation muddled in her delirium. But her vision clears and her head is in Liv's lap. Her hair in a bird's nest of a bun, but at least it's out of her face.

The sky is dark, a starless night, and there's an odd chill in the air despite all the burning candles. It's hours later. Bonnie listens to the stream of Latin and guesses maybe it's a healing spell, but Liv shakes her head and tells her it's a magical ward.

"Either you've got mono, Bennett, or someone's really got it out for you. If you're sticking with me, well, let's just say I'm pretty good at self-preservation. Which is a courtesy I'm now extending to you. For the time being."


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note:** So this one was a lot of fun to write. Like, _a lot_ of fun. And again, I so, so appreciate the reviews. I love seeing you guys give your guesses of what you think is going on. And thanks so much to Le1a Naberr1e for rec'ing my fic on tumblr. I'm having a damn good time writing this and your interest in it keeps me going, so thank you!

* * *

iv.

She's scooting about on her hands and knees, lifting the bedskirt on Bonnie's mattress, pushing around pairs and pairs of ankle boots. Their door is open, so students passing by make faces.

Bonnie's pulled her knees to her chest, the ceramic bird in her hand. It shows no damage from her fall. Not even a scratch. Watching the blonde move around, her thoughts go back to this afternoon. "What happened in the bar earlier?"

Liv sticks her fingers into a black combat boot but only finds a sock. She tosses both over her shoulder. "What do you mean?"

"When I asked you that question about the prison worlds, you, you went dead behind the eyes."

"Really? I was just thinking."

"It didn't look like you were thinking." Liv shrugs, gets up, and goes to Bonnie's desk, roots through the drawers. "Looking for something?"

"A hex bag." She throws a smirk over her shoulder. "Unless you really do have mono." She goes on flipping through binders and emptying a bag of pens and pencils, letting them scatter across the desk. "Have you been kissing strange boys, Bonnie? Perhaps one who slaughtered half his family?"

Maybe Liv can joke about it like it's only a puckered, pink scar on the knee of her family history, but Bonnie ignores the insinuation. Because Grams focused on teaching the magic soley deemed appropriate by the spirits, her own scholarly knowledge of different kinds of spells is scant. "What do you know about hexes?"

"Enough to get expelled from three private schools in Portland before my parents figured homeschooling me was the better option."

Her blood runs cold. "Aren't they deadly?"

"Private schools? Only to your sense of cultural and sociopolitical finesse."

" _No._ Hexes."

"They can be…if the witch who placed it is an über bitch who won't reverse it. Lucky for my former classmates, I'm one rung under that at mega bitch."

If there's a hex on Bonnie, then a witch is responsible. What's the likelihood a witch from a third coven attends Whitmore? Then again, they are this close to Mystic Falls, which is a unique kind of hellmouth. Does she even need to look that far? One guess who her prime suspect is. "If I've got some sort of curse on me, it was Kai. He did it."

Liv lets a psychology textbook fall from her fingers. "Yeah, he's his own breed of fucked up _but_ he's got this reverse Stockholm Syndrome thing for you. Why would he hex you?"

"I don't know and I don't care. I just know I can't think or walk by or talk to Elena or Caroline without vomiting or passing out and it's getting old. Fast." Bonnie's voice breaks, still exhausted from her fainting spell. Wearily, she glances up. "Can you break it? Or at least figure out if and why I'm magically diseased?"

She drops to her haunches and squints at the other girl. This could be her shot to get a sneak peek at a Bennett mind. Not just photocopies of spells from their family grimoires or her childhood breakfast visits from Sheila Bennett, who always had a regal air about her. Liv would've hated Sheila if she hadn't been so in awe of the woman. She did find it a shame that when her coven sent her and Luke after the Travelers that Sheila wasn't alive to teach her Occult Studies class. It would've been nice to learn something that didn't have the Gemini stamp of approval on it.

But you can't break another witch's hex – unless it isn't a hex.

"Hm." Liv picks a couple of lit candles from around the room and sets them on the floor on either side of her and Bonnie. She waves her hand at the doorway, and the door slams shut. The last thing they need is their resident advisor finding out about their use of candles in the dormitory, which may or may not be prohibited. Kneeling, Liv purses her lips. "I'm not going to lie to you. This will probably hurt."

She places her slender fingertips to Bonnie's temples and both shut their eyes. Liv is a little rusty, having not practiced this spell since her early adolescent years. Some nights she'd forget to study for school, so she'd take a peek into Luke's mind. It was quicker than copying his notes and they were twins, so they were pretty much on the same wavelength.

But a witch is a witch is a witch.

A stream of guttural Latin slips through her tight lips and Bonnie feels nothing. A rustling, like Liv's flipping through the binder of her brain, brief flashes of memories. Bright reds, of her lifeguard one-piece uniform, of her high school cheerleading outfit, of Matt's truck, of the blooming on her purple plaid shirt from her seeping stomach wound.

Grams' smiling face, her hair a cloud of curls around her. The twitch of Kai's lips after his attempts and failures at charming her. It's when her memories turn to Elena with near-waist length straight hair and Caroline with her color-coded Biology notes that the sickness comes over her. She swallows against the nausea, but Liv digs deeper and the taste of bile gets bolder. "Liv…" she coughs.

"Give me a second."

Now snapshots of Abby and Isobel as teenagers and Rudy's tired face walking through the door from yet another business trip. Damon finding her wandering alone on that island in Nova Scotia. Bonnie yelping as her foot slips and she feels two of her toes crack against rock as she wanders alone on that island in Nova Scotia.

Bonnie nimbly wipes at tears escaping through her closed eyelids. Liv drops her hands and scratches at the ripped denim on her knees. "Huh."

Opening her eyes, she frowns. "Huh? Huh what?"

Liv goes for her grimoire and flickers through the pages until she finds whatever she's looking for. "The Bennetts are descended from Salem witches, right?" Bonnie agrees but Liv means it rhetorically. "The whole hoopla up there was over hallucinations caused by moldy bread, rampant smallpox epidemics, and good ol' religious scare tactics. You know, the scientific explanations, anyway."

She runs her finger down the page and stops at a passage. A word is highlighted yellow, its definition underlined in black ink. "'A pox is a temporary magical ailment inflicted on another being, which causes a variety of physical sicknesses. It fades with time but can be prolonged with consistent attention.' People used to say 'a pox on your family', 'a plague o' both your houses'. Huh means someone _does_ have it out for you."

"Not someone. Kai. He's hiding something from me. Or trying to keep me away from something."

"Maybe. Only one way to find out..." Liv pushes the book out of the way and puts her hands back on Bonnie's head. "Okay, this is the part that hurts."

Before the counter-spell can leave Liv's mouth, the door swings open and both turn to face their visitor. Kai leans against the doorframe, crosses his ankles, and twists at his silver thumb ring. "Girls, isn't it past curfew?"

Liv snaps her wrist in his direction and he's softly rebounded back into the hallway. " _Olivia_ , what are you doing?" The playfulness has all but left his voice, replaced by increasing alarm. He smacks at the air in the doorway but can't push past the invisible seal.

She will have to work fast, so she recites the incantation. The spell is to essentially starve Bonnie's fever, to strip her body of any foreign magical intrusions. It's similar to ridding a human of a vampire's compulsion and equally as painful. Bonnie screams and keeps screaming, her synapses on fire. Her nerves are like spiders crawling underneath her skin, up her back, over her legs. All while her brain boils.

This is a different kind of torture for a girl who's been stabbed, bitten, possessed, strangled, has died, and had her magic revolt against her. Try as she might, she can't bite back the pain. The bird in her grasp clatters to the floor and she clasps her hands on top of Liv's. Through gritted teeth she groans, her chest heaving. But she won't tell her to stop. Instead, she loosens her grip on her magic, allowing Liv to channel her and strengthen the spell.

Over the noise of her own moans and Liv's muttering, Kai yells. "Bonnie! Goddamn it! Liv, stop! Bonnie?! _Bonnie!"_ He sounds angry...and scared? The familiar sensation of blood tickling down her nose brings Bonnie's focus back to her skull expanding.

Liv's hands finally fall away and both girls catch their breath. Liv suffered her own nosebleed from doing the spell, but she's more concerned with the witch in front of her, a sheen of sweat broken out across her tawny forehead. "Did it work?"

"Uh…" Bonnie gasps. She racks her brain for something, anything to think about. Sophomore year and cheerleading practice. Her first official meeting with the Salvatore brothers over dinner. The scarf around Caroline's neck that night. Elena waving and grinning at her from the Founder's Day reenactment parade float. Caroline's shocked expression over Elena sans humanity daring to order the same prom dress as her. She thinks of calling them right now, of getting off the floor and going to see them. Bonnie can taste bile on her tongue, but her head doesn't spin and there's no new dizziness.

She breaks into a grin, blood coating her front teeth. "Yeah, I think so," she nods, wiping at her face. "Whatever you did… Thank you."

Liv scrubs at her own nose and mouth and lets one of her shoulders rise and fall. "Yeah, well. Maybe it was the least I could've done."

They help each other to their feet and their gazes level on the boy at the door. His fists are raised and resting on the transparent barrier, his face both guarded and calculating.

Bonnie raises her hand in Kai's direction and Liv takes a deliberate step back. She saw enough of the Bennett's past to know two things:

She was right. Bonnie has no memories whatsoever of the last few weeks. They end with Bonnie jumping into Damon's arms and start again with her waking up across from Liv. She only got tiny glimpses of the dream that she keeps mentioning but enough to worry her. A snowy cave that couldn't possibly exist in May 1994 and a woman with red hair. A destroyed banquet hall. Liv dead with a shoulder length haircut, shattered glass and crushed bouquets everywhere. A version of Kai hellbent on decimating everyone and everything their coven has built, everyone who ever wronged him, even at his own detriment. With a dream, or premonition, that intense, the girl's got a right to be cautious. But also…

There is Expression radiating through her. Any magic is good enough when you have none, but Liv grew up on tales of how reckless and dangerous and consuming the power from Expression could get and she knows to stay clear of it. Especially when it's welded by a direct descendant of Qetsiyah.

The spell keeping him out drops and Kai stumbles into the room, tripping to his knees. Bonnie rotates her wrist in a way to mime her fingers around his throat, constricting his breathing. He claws at his neck, struggling for air.

"You did this to me." Not an accusation. A fact.

"I was trying to help," he manages to get out. She stiffens her fingers and he falls silent, crumpling forward in that stupid, black coat of his.

"You don't get to determine what's helpful and what isn't. Not after everything you've done. Not after the hell you put me through."

She has Expression but he's the leader of his coven, so he pushes back with his own magic and straightens up, exhaling heavily. "Can't you see I'm trying to make things right?"

"Cursing me to keep me away from my friends is your way of 'making things right'?"

"They're bad for you, Bon." He stands to his feet, tugs at the sleeves of his coat. He may tower over her but they all know who's in control of this situation. "I thought I was protecting you. Your co-dependency on them is dangerous. It always has been."

Her virulent eyes blaze. " _Excuse me_? Who the hell are you to judge?"

"Please. You've died for them, Bonnie. Anyone with half a brain would make that call."

He smirks at Liv, which only infuriates the little witch more. She steps towards him, grabs two fists full of his grey shirt, and charges forward until his back collides with the door across the hall. His head ricochets off the wood and he cries out, something cracking at the back of his skull.

"You and I are not friends. You don't get to decide what benefits me and you don't get to kiss me like you're not the person who shot me with an arrow. Like you didn't gut me like a pig."

"In his defense, he also helped bring you back!" Liv shouts, bouncing on her toes, her hands in fists at her sides. The exasperated sigh she expels after indicative of how her own blatant honesty is both a blessing and a burden. Kai deserves to get cut down to size, but she knows it's only fair if it's in context.

Liv's comment reminds Bonnie of what Damon told her. Kai performed the spell that led her to remembering Silas' headstone in Canada. He inadvertently saved her from suffocating to death in a garage - even though he was part of the reason she locked herself in the garage in the first place. At the end of the day, she's alive and he had a hand in that.

Bonnie rolls her eyes. "I know you're keeping something from me. Maybe Elena and Caroline are involved somehow, maybe not. But I have the right to see my friends if I want, so quit trying to stop me. You lost whatever sympathy I had for you when you left me in Oregon."

He groans against the throbbing in his head, blood dripping down his collar, wraps his fingers around her wrists instead, and pulls her closer. "What do I have to do to make us even?"

She snarls but is short of a response. He abandoned her in 1994 and her preferred revenge was leaving him behind in 1903. Giving him a taste of his own twisted medicine. In her stubborn naivety, she would've been fine leaving him there, but she figured if and once he got out they'd be square.

 _Please. Believe me, I've changed..._

That's not how it happened. It never happened.

She manages to get her hand around his throat, but it's her magic that lifts him off the floor. The heels of his boots kick back against the door. His breath comes out in spurts but he still manages a smile. "You can't kill me, Bonnie."

"Oh, yeah?" She knows she can't, knows a banquet hall of dead bodies is somehow where this ends. Knows her anger at him will hurt the girl who just performed a massive spell for her. But the challenge in Kai's voice makes her tighten her grip and his eyes involuntarily fall shut.

The door opens and he falls backwards out of her grasp and into a skinny, shirtless freshman in boxers. People are outside their rooms. Watching. Bonnie's anger coils smaller and smaller inside of her, and she gives Kai one last look. "I want you to leave me alone."

She turns on her heel and enters her room, slams the door behind her. Like she did nights before, she leans against it to catch her breath.

She's never been a fan of massacres or mass genocide, though the former once came to pass on her behalf and she turned a blind eye to the latter, but she really wants to kill Kai. Not because it's the practical thing to do, for her personal well-being. She wants to kill him because her body sings for it. Feeling his erratic pulse against her palm, the pounding of his heart underneath her fists, the rattle of his lungs as he struggled for a measly breath. A lot of people would die too, yes, but the thought of seeing him laid low gives her a rush of pleasure she never anticipated. Not since the snowscape of 1903. No, never.

Eyebrows up in surprised approval, Liv watches her. "What?"

"I'm famished. I want waffles. You want waffles?"

Confused, Bonnie self-consciously rubs her hands over her arms, coming back to herself. "…I could go for some waffles."


	5. Chapter 5

**Author's Note:** I really wanted this up yesterday but ffn... *shakes fist at computer*

* * *

v.

Three times the sign for Waffle House approaches as the car barrels down the quiet highway, and three times Bonnie watches as they become blurs past the passenger side window. When Liv finally does pull into the parking lot of one of the open twenty-four/seven/three sixty-five diners, they're right outside Mystic Falls' city limits and the W of the sign is out.

Bonnie doesn't order much. An orange juice and a side of hash browns. She mostly pushes them around the plate because they're too salty for human consumption. Liv, on the other hand, orders bacon and a stack of three waffles, each bigger than her face, and promptly smothers them in syrup.

She watches as Liv stabs her waffles with her fork, slices through them with her knife until she can't stand the silence anymore. "You're awful quiet."

"I'm eating," she says with her fork between her teeth, syrup dribbling down the handle.

"You were quiet in the car too."

"Maybe you weren't there but tonight was kind of intense. Blaring a Nine Inch Nails album seemed terribly uncouth. Besides I'll probably be sneezing blood for a week."

"If you thought I was too harsh on Kai—"

"You were well within the realm of reasonably harsh. Not that he didn't have a point..."

"You agree with him?"

Liv swallows. "I agree with his theory. It's his execution that was skewed. Like...you have died for those people. I know them a lot better than my brother, but I don't believe they'd do the same for you. Not really. Not willingly." She shrugs. "Them's the breaks."

Bonnie reminds herself that Elena Gilbert is human and alive, not sleeping in a coffin, not a clock ticking towards the expiration date of her own death. Still, she sniffs. "I'm done dying for other people."

"Good. Because, sure, everyone remembers the martyrs but no one remembers how easily they could've been spared."

If Bonnie wasn't hungry before, her appetite has vanished now. She follows Liv's movements as she takes a few more bites, happy to pay attention to something that isn't her mind replaying the last two hours. Her eyes fall to her hands, absentmindedly clenches and loosens her fists. Her nails dragging over long-healed scars and the tender pink of recent ones. So many scars.

 _You have really nice palms._

Pushing out a loud and heavy breath, Liv drops her fork. Bonnie jumps. "Okay, where is your magic?"

"My—"

"What you've got running through your system is one hundred percent Expression. And I hate to sound like a superstitious old gran, but I grew up with it drilled into my head that Expression is bad news bears. So I'm a little freaked out."

She blinks. "I sent my magic away in my teddy bear Ms. Cuddles. Damon had her, but..."

"Right, no memories. Yeah, I saw that."

Curious, she tucks her hands between her thighs and leans forward. "What else did you see?"

"That you've gotten really good at crying and dying," Liv scoffs then gets serious. "Even with a teacher like Sheila Bennett, you're vastly undereducated about your family history and your practice with magic, which can explain why you've been taken advantage of so many times. Our coven elders used to preach 'you're only as strong as the reasons you have to use your powers.'"

Her energy has pretty much been zapped from the day, so her tone comes out acerbically and she's not apologetic about it. "So I'm only as strong as my opportunistic friends and you're only as strong as your murderous coven who, instead of rehabilitating a clearly mentally unwell young man, locked him away from the world for nearly twenty years."

Liv lifts up her coffee mug. "You and me, Bennett, snug as bugs in a magical, flying rug."

In spite of themselves, they grin at each other and Bonnie's eyes drift around the diner. Their waitress is taking the order of a man with a shock of salt and pepper hair, which looks as if he stuck his finger in an electrical outlet. He's got jittery fingers and has to grab the steaming mug in front of him to settle his nerves. When he starts to turn in her direction, Bonnie looks away.

"Ugh! This coffee tastes like gutter water. Blech!" Liv crinkles her nose. "But you really need to get your magic back. I don't know why I believe you but I do. Something weird is going on and you need your wits about you. _All of them_. I don't need to tell you how Expression can tear you apart from the inside out if you can't control it and I'm not that great of a mentor." Then she wags her brows. "That was more your department. But I figure we can go to the boarding house, find Mister—"

"Miss."

"Ms. Cuddles, and that's about how far ahead I planned, so I guess we'll wing it after we get the bear."

"It's one in the morning. We have class in a couple of hours. We have work."

Liv coughs twice, weakly and lacking commitment. "Gee, Bonnie. I think I'm catching whatever bug you had. We, in good conscience, can't possibly work around food and drinks in this condition." She smirks. "Think Rodney'll buy it?"

"Maybe with more conviction in your voice. You once convinced me you were a newbie witch, who couldn't even do a simple locator spell."

She beams. "I should've won an Oscar for that performance."

"You're no Meryl Streep, but you had me fooled."

A blush paints Liv's cheeks and she looks down, half prideful at her abilities of deception and half guilty at having deceived someone who had good intentions. "Are you really not going to eat?"

"Nah."

She reaches over and scoots the plate of hash browns towards her. "My brother and I almost died when we were little. I don't waste anything."

Bonnie smiles but it promptly falls when she connects the dots. The surviving male Parker son also has an affinity for food. Pork rinds, jam, pancakes, spaghetti… She turns away, sets her chin in her palm, and looks out the window at the highway.

When they're ready to leave, Liv fumbles with calculating her tip and Bonnie gets up, tells her she'll meet her at the car.

She walks up to the counter to the waitress behind the register. Bonnie slips her a twenty dollar bill and cocks her head in the direction of the anxious man. The waitress' blue eyes sneak a peek at him and she wordlessly nods. Like he's aware of being watched, he looks up and meets Bonnie's gaze. His thick eyebrows knit together in confusion, almost recognition. She turns away.

"What was that?" Liv questions when Bonnie gets into the passenger seat.

She fits the seatbelt across her and buckles it. "I think that guy at the counter is homeless. I paid for his meal."

"Bonnie Sheila Bennett, patron saint of shitty friends and Awful Waffle customers."

 _x_

"If I were a universe traveling teddy bear full of magic in the possession of a narcissistic vampire, where would I be?" Liv wiggles her brows at Bonnie, who tries to not roll her eyes.

They stand in the middle of the library in the boarding house. The lights are off and Liv put a cloaking spell over them so they don't disturb anyone. Bonnie sticks her hand out, feels the air for something out of the ordinary. Breath hitches in Liv's throat, wary of the Bennett's usage of Expression, but Bonnie doesn't cast anything. She purses her lips. "It's not here."

"As in not in this room or not in existence?"

"Not in this house."

"Seriously? What the hell would Damon Salvatore do with a teddy bear full of your magic if it's not with him?"

Bonnie clenches her face. "Maybe she's cloaked too." She juts out her hand again and closes her eyes. She can feel Liv's aura beside her in the dark, the faint magical presence of two sleeping vampires and... She breaks into a run, disengaging the cloaking spell.

Out of the room and down the hallway, she skids to a stop. "Caroline?"

Caroline Forbes, in a t-shirt far bigger than her own size, halts on the staircase, one foot hovering over a step. Her proximity doesn't cause Bonnie to break into a cold sweat or double over with nausea, so the spell really did work. "Bonnie, I thought I heard someone." Her eyes flicker down the hallway, Liv jogging towards them. "Liv."

There's a chill between the two blondes, so Bonnie tries to redirect the attention back to her. "I didn't mean to… What are… Are you and Stefan…?"

"No. Well… I don't know. He lets me stay here sometimes. He totally sleeps in a guest room, though. It's just been really hard since my mom."

Bonnie purses her lips. "Yeah, I get that."

Anger flashes behind the vampire's blue eyes. "How could you when you still have your mom?"

The barb hits and Bonnie wilts, wondering where the malice comes from. "I meant my Grams. And my dad."

"Oh. Sorry." Caroline grins sheepishly. Shakes her hair off her shoulder. "What are you doing here anyway?"

Liv steps in, taking a protective stance at Bonnie's side. "We're looking for her teddy bear Mister-"

"Miss."

"Ms. Cuddles."

"Why?"

Bonnie opens her mouth to mention her magic is missing, but Liv cuts her off. "Because it's hers. So where is it?"

The vampire scowls but tells them to follow her. They do, down to the cellar. When Bonnie elbows Liv to ask what the hell that was about, the other witch holds a finger to her lips then taps it to her ear.

At the foot of the basement stairs, Caroline leans against the wall and points. "It's in there." Liv goes over to the deep freezer and lifts the lid. Sure enough Ms. Cuddles, bits of ice clinging to her tan fur, sits atop a supply of blood bags. She takes it by the arm and jostles it. She frowns.

Bonnie turns to her friend. "Look, I know it's been a rough couple of weeks. Really, a rough few months, but I'm having some memory lapses. Am I mad at you and Elena or something?"

Caroline grimaces. "You move out without so much as a note, move in with the witch who once tried to kill Stefan and Elena, not to mention she tried to move in on Jeremy while you were with him, and yet you can't remember why you chose her over the people you've known your whole life? Gee, I don't know what to tell you, Bonnie."

There's that malice again, and it makes the Expression underneath her skin prickle. An instinctive response at the possibility of a threat. She remembers the warm crackle from her earlier dealings with the magic, so she knows how to squelch it. Barely.

"Hey!" Liv growls. The bear is flung at Bonnie's chest before the girls steps in front of her. "We're making our peace but for the record – I never asked Bonnie to drop everything and die for anyone. Can your lot say the same?"

Caroline moves forward, black veins crawling under her eyes. "I've killed people to save Bonnie's life. Twelve witches to be precise. I'm willing to add a thirteenth to the list."

"Guys!" Bonnie shouts, getting in between the two. She can sense the magic coiling in Liv's fists and Caroline's eyes are bloodshot and hungry. One fight is all she can handle in a day and her confrontation with Kai filled that quota. "Can we put the claws away for a second?"

The blondes glare a moment longer before Caroline breaks to glance at Bonnie. "Unbelievable."

"Yeah," Bonnie agrees but she's not talking about the girls. Her attention is on the half frozen teddy bear in her hands. She gives it a shake. Frowns. "Liv..."

"I know."

Caroline's confused. "What? What's wrong?"

The bear in her hands is just a bear. Nothing magical about it, not even a trace. "My magic's gone."


	6. Chapter 6

i've made a very bad habit of letting things gather dust on my phone... oop.

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vi.

Caroline's dark eyebrows knit in confusion. "Wh-what do you mean your magic's gone? I thought you couldn't get out of the prison world without it."

"No, I sent _my_ magic away in Ms. Cuddles." Bonnie shakes the stuffed bear, praying something, anything reveals itself. Maybe a dusting of her magic shakes free, or at least a clue to where it's gone. She gets nothing. "The magic I have is—"

"Maybe _ix-nay on the talk of agic-may_." Liv grabs Bonnie by the arm, nails digging into skin, and spins her so they face each other. Her expression is hard but not mean. "At least in front of the ampire-vay."

"I'm dead, not dumb," Caroline scoffs. "I can understand Pig Latin perfectly well, thank you very much."

"Guys…" Bonnie throws them both sharp glares. It's far too late at night – or too early in the morning? – for this and do they really have to do this right now? The blondes all but ignore her.

"Maybe you're not dumb, but who puts a teddy bear in a deep freezer?"

"It's not like anyone bothers it. Only vampires root around in there."

"Because no vampire in the history of forever has ever needed Bennett magic? Sure, okay..."

Bonnie clutches Ms. Cuddles, cleaving it close to her chest, fingers sinking into its soft fur. She racks her brain for what she could be missing, knows there's something, but knows she'll only come up short. It should be habit now but she's still thrown for a loop. "Care, can you walk me through everything that's happened since I got back?"

The blondes quit arguing and the vampire sighs, scratching at her scalp. "You did your little time travel skidoo the day of my mom's funeral, so kudos to you for timing, I guess. The next day you gave Elena the cure and she took you clubbing, something happened with that Kai guy, which made you pissed at Damon, and then you moved out while I was in Physics. The end."

"… _that's it_?"

"I'm sorry? Have I been a little too preoccupied grieving the death of my mother to know every detail of your prodigal return?"

"Whoa," Liv interjects.

"Care… Are you mad at me?"

"I'm sorry," and this time her apology rings of contrition. But not much. "I'm just tired. It's hardly dawn, I'm exhausted from _everything_ , none of my professors gave me extensions on my assignments, and I'm sad, okay! I miss my mom. Is that so hard to believe, huh? She was my _mom_ , Bonnie. Unlike you and Abby, my mom was there for me so I am mourning."

Liv finds the apology a little disingenuous so, snarling, she steps in. "We've all had people we love die, _Barbie_. And you're a vampire, so you're just getting started. No need to bite off your best friend's head because you've got coping issues."

Right then Caroline lunges, teeth bared, knocks the other blonde to the concrete floor, and strangles her. Liv is fast, though, and does that aneurysm trick that Bonnie knows so well. Yelping in pain with tears streaming down her face, the vampire crumples and pushes her hands to her throbbing temples.

Stefan Salvatore is at the entrance to the cellar in an instant and, for a split second, Bonnie forgot vampires have super speed. In that moment of realization she recounts all the time that speed would've come in handy when she needed it. Like when two vampires showed up in the prison world vowing to rescue her even though she herself was all the way in Indiana...

That simpering resentment festers and, while a confused Stefan pulls the growling Caroline off the floor, Liv grabs the distracted Bonnie. They hurry out of the boarding house without so much as a goodbye. Liv, shaking with rage, asks Bonnie to drive so she doesn't drive her car into the foyer of the mansion. She nods and pulls her shirt sleeves down past her wrists, hiding crawling black lines under her skin.

This time, Liv does blast her Nine Inch Nails album. Windows down, wind whipping through tendrils of yellow. A wild woman. And somehow tamer than Bonnie at the present moment.

She's been erratic lately. Confused and more than willing to disregard niceties in search of answers, but she blamed it on her memory lapse. On her need to know the truth so she can get on with life. Now she knows at least part of her behavior is due to Expression and how could she have missed the familiarity of it? How quick to wrath she would get. How seamless it can be to gravitate to violence, to power. Control.

Stupid, stupid, _stupid_!

Shane taught her better. No, fuck Professor Shane. Her Grams taught her better. What little advice she was able to glean from her. This isn't how things are supposed to be, granted they rarely are, but the anxiety swirling in her gut tells her something still isn't right. Something still isn't right.

Wary of the look on Bonnie's face and how tightly her knuckles grip the steering wheel, Liv turns down the music. "What are you thinking and why am I scared to hear the answer?"

"I've got this sneaking suspicion that Kai knows more than he's letting on."

"I knew it. Listen to your gut, Olivia," she groans. "You think he's behind this, too? You missing your magic and stuff?" Bonnie doesn't answer but, yeah, probably. Liv scoffs. "Are you sure you're not being a little..."

"Paranoid?"

"Self-absorbed, actually. I mean, when was the last time someone had a crush on you?"

"A crush?"

"Okay, so maybe you'd prefer flowers to your bffs' heads on stakes but... Yeah, he's got a crush on you. Duh! I think the extra male attention has you skittish is all. He put the pox on you, yes, but you can't blame him for everything. There was something rotten in the state of Salvatore long before my brother showed up."

Taken aback, Bonnie frowns. "You sure speak of the person who tried to kill you as a child rather glowingly."

"Objectively. I speak of him objectively. I'm not fond of him by any means, but my twin brother still exists somewhere within him. Hopefully. And he is family. _Unfortunately_. Besides, I'm here to tell you the hard truths that your friends won't, aren't I? Isn't that why you moved in with me? Why else am I helping you super sleuth your life?"

"I really don't want to think about me being the arsenic of Kai's eye right now. Things just feel...off. And my gut is rarely wrong."

Liv lifts an eyebrow but doesn't argue. A beat. Then, "So what's the plan? Barge into his apartment spells at the ready and demand answers? Go all femme fatale on him? I own plenty of black leather."

As tempting as that sounds, the last thing Bonnie wants is to impulsively use the magic she has. It's too easy to slip off the ledge.

"I...I don't have a plan. Not yet."

Liv settles into her seat and crosses her arms. Yawns. "Well, can we get some sleep or at least some coffee before we go all bad cop, worse cop on his ass?"

She nods. It's been a far longer day than she expected and she needs to save her energy. That's how it is when it comes to Kai. Charge, unleash, repeat. At least she got that whole sickness out of the way. She'd take a nosebleed over feeling puke-y any day.

Huh. She never even got the chance to ask Caroline about the red ceramic bird.

 _x_

It's hot. Really hot. Sweat beads pearling and rolling down her neck and back. Has the fireplace always given off that much heat? Then again, she's standing pretty close to it.

Wait.

She's hot too. Her magic's boiling under her skin. She's mad, no. Livid. But she can't figure out why. Or at whom. But it's strong enough that she's contemplating physical harm. Maiming. Maybe murder.

Her chest explodes. It's a flowering of pain quickly followed by a cold to which she succumbs.

A tugging. Some thing is tugging something out of her. She tries to chase it, grasp for it, tug it back where it belongs but a warmth covers her and then there's nothing at all.

 _x_

Despite Liv's desire to play hooky, Bonnie goes to her classes. And shows up for work. She needs a little normal in her life and what's more mundane than college and wiping down tables? She keeps Kai in the back of her mind, or maybe he keeps himself there, but something else bothers her.

She woke up this morning with Liv sitting next to her on her bed, hands gripping her arms. Curls hanging in her face, the blonde was casting a calming spell over her. Apparently Bonnie had been screaming in her sleep and woke up half the floor doing so. She couldn't remember the dream, but Liv scoffed.

"If that's what happens when you dream, I'd hate to see what you're like when you have nightmares."

Bonnie cleans a table, stacks dirty plates on top of each other, when she catches movement outside the window. Looking up, she sees a guy passing by.

Kai.

As if he knows he's being watched, as if he knows it's _her_ watching him, he glances in her direction. There's something in his expression that she'd define as worry, but his guard goes up and he keeps on walking. She belatedly arrives to this conclusion, but she hurt his feelings. She has to keep reminding herself he now has feelings she can hurt.

Her boss Rodney calls her name and when she glances back out the window, he's gone.

She strides over to the tall man behind the bar. The sleeves of his sweater are rolled up to the elbows, inked black vines weaving along his skin. The art was done very skillfully, but she can't admire them right now. "Bonnie, since Liv is out, I'm putting Scott on the bar. You think you can handle the customers?"

It's been a slow evening, so she nods. "Yeah, I think so."

"Perfect. Looks like you've got one." She goes to turn but his warm hand comes down on top of hers, so she glances into his eyes, a whirlpool of blue. "I'll be around, so don't be afraid to call me if you need me." He winks.

She tries to not blush, ducking her head as she turns, but blanches when she finds that Kai is her customer. Knowing her boss is watching, she makes sure her posture isn't as grudging as she feels when she walks over to the table. Grinning, Kai sets down his menu and waits for Bonnie to speaks.

"Hi, I'm Bonnie and I'll be taking care of you tonight. Can I start you off with something to drink and an appetizer?"

"That sounds super, _Bonnie._ I'd love some chili cheese fries. Oh, and would you be a peach and get me a vodka soda?" His smirk is so fucking smug and she'd love to smack it right off of his face.

"I'll need to see some ID, _sir_." His smile stays, eyes growing cold, but he fishes out his wallet anyway. Watches her eyes as they rove over his birth date. "1972? Sir, this is obviously a fake ID. You hardly look eighteen. How about I get you a root beer? Does that sound _super_?"

From anyone's perspective, they look like their having a normal waitress-customer interaction. They don't see how her insides are clenched or the feral gleam in his eyes. She bites down her own smug satisfaction and puts in his order, wordlessly brings him his drink, and then goes back to cleaning tables. Slowly, the bar empties out, leaving Kai as the only customer. She only clocks this because it's a fancy go-to compulsion trick vampires use time and time again. But she doesn't sense any vampires nearby.

Coming back to his table, Bonnie rolls her eyes while asking if he's ready to order. Kai keeps his attention on the leather-bound menu. "I'm still looking but I did have one question."

"Yes?"

Their gazes meet. "Have the dreams started yet?"


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's Note:** I gotta be real right now. When I updated this, I didn't think anyone would still be interested. Months of radio silence could mean so many things. I always had this story in the back of my mind (and on my phone) but even I had to go back and reread what I'd done to renew my zeal. Your reviews have been _the_ kindest and I'm sincerely grateful for those who've stuck with me. **  
**

* * *

vii.

There's a phantom ache in her chest, a soft mirror to what she felt in her dream last night. The heat at her back chased by the bitter cold in her bones. He couldn't know about that, could he? "Dreams?"

He nods and she knows he's going to make her do all the heavy lifting, eke it out of him. She can play cat and mouse, too. "What kind of dreams?"

He flashes that smarmy grin of his. "Oh, I dunno. Ones where you get over the chip on your shoulder and forgive me. Apologize for delaying the inevitable. Just so you know, I'm partial to salty foods but never turn down chocolate or flowers."

Her following laugh is really more of a bark, hearty and full of spite. "Forgive you? _Apologize_? After everything you did to me? Lying. Hurting me. Abandoning me. I almost killed myself because of you!"

He emits a low whistle. "Way harsh, Bon. But it seems like a bit of a missed mark, don't you think?"

"Oh, really?" She folds her arms, cocking her hip to the side.

"Yeah, like I'm the only one who's ever lied to you, betrayed you, hurt you? As if. I can see the bite scars on your neck from here." He sniffs. "Besides. You hated me and you're the one who wanted to split that prison world. Half and half. I could've left and you'd never have known. What's happening is you're lumping all your anger into one massive ball and lobbing it at me. Projecting."

"Projecting?" She all but growls at him, but instead sets her jaw and glares. "Ha. You think you're so smart, don't you?"

"It's called being observant. From where I sit, you got low because of your _friends'_ failed attempt to rescue you, not because I left you behind."

She blinks at his audacity. Is he really not going to take responsibility for his part in things? The knife he stuck in her abdomen nor the arrow he shot into her stomach are now not his own doing? Yes, it did hurt, it burned her up that Damon and Elena's trip to the prison world had been fruitless but she had plenty reason to be mad. "Explain to me again why I'm supposed to forgive you. It's obviously too grand of a concept for me to fathom."

"I'm the one who helped save your life."

" _What_?"

"How is everything over here?" Rodney appears at Bonnie's side with a managerial smile on his face. White teeth and glazed over eyes.

Kai disconnects, switching on his ordinary persona. "Perfect! Your new server is a gem. Truly, truly, truly outrageous."

Bonnie battles with her lips and cheeks, but a smile spreads across her face too. "He, uh, he asked about the steak and I," she blushes. "I've never had it, so I couldn't give him an honest recommendation."

Rodney settles, his warm hand finding the middle of her back. "Oh! That's fine. The steak is cut fresh everyday, we get it from a local vendor, and it's prepared only once you order. If I could afford to eat it every day, I would," he laughs, a tenor tilt to his voice.

"Awesome. I'll take the vegetarian quesadilla."

Bonnie takes the opportunity to escape, saying she'll put in the order, and heads to the kitchen. The cook watches her warily as she leans against the sink, but she waves off his concerns. She only needs to catch her breath. Kai does that to her, overwhelms her to the point of exhaustion.

The kitchen doors swish open and Rodney walks in. Gaining her composure, Bonnie tries to not groan. Spins around with a tight smile. "I am so sor—"

He holds up his hands, silencing her. "Bonnie, you're fine. I just thought that guy was bothering you. I might have a bit of a hero complex but I certainly don't pay you to get harassed, all right. I can take over for you if you want. Looks like we might be dead for the rest of your shift anyway. Why don't you take off? Go get some rest."

This is her out and she'd be an idiot if she doesn't take it.

"No, no. I'm okay. Really. That guy…he's Liv's brother." She rolls her eyes. _Idiot._ "She says he's got a crush on me, but really he's just an annoying twerp. I can handle him."

He eyes her dubiously but doesn't argue. "Okay…" After asking her once more if she's sure, and she is, he excuses himself to do paperwork in his office upstairs.

Taking a deep breath, she picks up the steaming appetizer and returns to the dining room. Kai sits exactly where she left him but now he's got another drink. Edging closer to the table, she gets hints of tequila and rum in the air. She drops the basket, salt particles bouncing off and landing on the table. "What'd you do, bribe the bartender?"

"For a Long Island Iced Tea? _Please._ I threatened him. It's absolutely ridiculous that I've been twenty-two for the better part of two decades and you pull a stunt like carding me. Not cool." But his eyes say different. Secretly, he's amused and impressed how she always manages to one-up him.

She drops down in the chair across from him and folds in on herself. Crossed arms and legs, facing the bar instead of him. It's less playing hard-to-get and more like giving him an inch. Maybe he won't hang himself with it.

"So, you _were_ there?" She thinks back to that day, the Camaro in the garage, the overturned map of Nova Scotia on the floor. Jeremy… Damon had been telling the truth about Kai's involvement. Go figure. "On my birthday?"

He sets his glass aside and folds his arms, too. Leans back in his chair. Shrugs. "They needed a witch. They wanted to send you a message, like a _happy birthday_ or something stupid like that. They even made cupcakes that you wouldn't have been able to eat.

"Guess they didn't realize how bad things had gotten."

"Extended solitude will do that to you."

"Don't I know it…"

"Why'd you help? You're the one who left me there. What, you suddenly sprouted wings and remorse?"

"Basically. Of all the things I never understood about my coven, the soul merge was one of them." He leans forward, props his elbow on the table. His fingers pick at his chili cheese fries but he doesn't eat. "I have feelings, okay. I always have. Part of being a sociopath, you focus more on yourself than on others. It took effort I didn't bother to expend. Now… I don't know if it's Luke or me, but it's a physical drain if I don't think about other people and how they're affected by me, what I want, what I do. It sucks."

"You're lying."

"Oh, you've seen the receipts from my therapist, have you?"

"If you cared about anyone else, if you could care, you wouldn't have left me."

"Bonnie, there seems to be some disconnect between you and reality. _Why wouldn't I have left you_? You'd known me for two days before you decided I was worthless and then magic'd a pickaxe into my chest. Not to mention all the times I tried to negotiate with you after that. I just wanted to go home." His brows furrow. "Why do you get to play judge, jury, and executioner?"

"Because you were going to murder your coven."

"You said so yourself, I lie! I wasn't going to kill 'em. I was the rightful successor to lead and they usurped that from me. If anything, I'm the Joseph with his amazing technicolor dreamcoat in this scenario."

"So why'd you put the pox on me?"

"My gauge for empathy is a little skewed, I know, but I can spot shitty friendships. Seriously. They made _cupcakes_ instead of trying to find a real way to get you out. If I hadn't shown up that day…" he trails off, a visible shudder coursing through him.

"You don't know my friends like I do."

"Thank heavens! They are seriously the worst. I mean, I haven't properly met your gal pal Caroline, but I doubt I'll like her either." He laughs at some unspoken humor. "One day with Elena Gilbert was twenty-four hours too many. Is she always that blindly optimistic?"

"She got Damon to turn around."

"Did she?" He finally pops a fry into his mouth then offers Bonnie the basket. She ignores the gesture. "You both love forgetting that I watched you two for months. You're telling me your bestie was totally okay with his constant put-downs and alcoholic fits of rage towards you?"

She shrugs. "You called me, and I quote, _the useless one_ the first time you met me."

"…I was baiting you. Giving you the chance to rise out of your self-doubt. There's a reason Bennett witches have the reputation they do. You just needed something to make you hope again."

She scoffs, "Whatever."

"How about this?" His arms stretch across the table towards her. Not in an effort to touch her but to open up to her. "We agree to disagree. You've obviously got a fondness for the vampire that you're not willing to let go of – even when it clouds your judgment, making you a total hypocrite. _And_ you don't have to apologize."

"Good. I wasn't gonna."

" _But_ \- you can't keep holding a grudge over what happened. Not when you instigated it. Not after I tried."

"Sure, blame the victim." She looks away from him. He's completely deluded if he thinks she'll forgive and forget. In all fairness, he hadn't acted unprovoked. But what was she supposed to think, after he kept threatening to swipe her magic and leave her for dead? She lives in a kill or be killed reality, and there is no disconnecting from that. "You could've tried harder."

"And my parents could've raised me better. We can play this blame game until the cows come home, Bon."

Her glare cuts him. _Bon_. A comfortable abbreviation of her name when they are anything but.

Getting up, she asks if he's done with his fries because she's going to check on his quesadilla. He waves her and the food away, and she wonders if he came in here for her – not to eat. But he digs right into his meal, so she shakes away her thoughts. The rest of his time there she sits at the bar, sips water, and tries to forget he exists.

The closer it gets to closing time, Rodney comes out of his office and plays attentive manager again, wonders how the food was. He then comes up behind Bonnie, palming her spine again, and asks her how things went with breath hot on her neck. She's totaling Kai's order, so she tells him she's just finishing up and then slides off the bar stool and out of his reach.

Yanking a fifty from his pocket, Kai frowns, fixing a peculiar gaze at Bonnie. "Have all your bosses been that handsy or is it just him?"

Bonnie doesn't mention that this is technically her first paying job. She's sure filing her father's papers once upon a time for a summer didn't count. She smirks. "Jealous?"

"Of him, no. I know how he dies." He beams at her before passing over the bill and tells her to keep the change. Then he stands. "Whew. Well, I think this is a new leaf for us, Bon. What say you?"

"You know, if you really wanted to get to know them, you might like my friends."

"From what I've seen, I'm less than awestruck. And to be quite honest, Bonnie, I've never cared about being their friend. I only care about being yours."

 _x_

"Oookay. So what now?" Liv sits cross-legged on her bed and watches Bonnie pace the length of their dorm. She twists her curls up into a bun and secures it with a hair tie. "Maybe that's your play. Be his friend. Or pretend to be."

"I once told him I would never like or enjoy his company for so much as one second."

"Sounds to me like that's water under the bridge to him. I'm telling you, this is your in. He's meeting you halfway."

Bonnie stops, rounds on her heels to face her roommate. "You think he knows something about my dream? Maybe it's a clue, something that he tried to get me to forget when he put the pox on me."

"What dream? Bonnie, you hardly remember why you woke up screaming." She throws her hands up. "I honestly cannot keep up with your mental gymnastics. It could've just been that. _A bad dream_. We all get them and you've faced scarier stuff than most. Who's to say your dream was about Kai? It could've been about Markos or Silas or Katherine. Or Damon…"

"What is with you and and your brother being so adamantly against Damon? He's my friend."

"Until you piss him off. Or you keep him from what he wants. Then he hits you with a Molotov cocktail."

"He said you were there on my birthday, too. That you almost jeopardized the whole thing. What'd he mean by that?"

Liv shrinks, looking everywhere but at Bonnie.

"Before the sun comes up…"

"I was there to kill Kai. I was hurt and mad because Luke is gone. And that's on him. But he just as easily could've killed me, too. He almost set me on fire. Bonnie, I didn't know they were trying to help you. All I saw was red."

"Then what happened? The way you talk about him, you two have clearly gotten over your issues."

"Barely. All I could tell was he was doing a spell and Jeremy was involved. He was distracted so I stabbed him. Got him through the middle with a fire poker. He came out of the spell and sent a fork flying into my neck." She rubs at her throat for good measure. "There was a lot of cutlery being thrown. Then he got a candle. It was lit and he had it in his hand, but… He couldn't do it. Part of me wishes he had.

"It wasn't until after that I was told they were trying to stop you from…you know."

"Asphyxiating on exhaust fumes? It's okay, you can say it. I wanted to die that day." She drops down on Liv's bed and eyes the blonde. "At least we both have that in common."

A pale hand finds hers and Bonnie purses her lips.

"If you want to unravel this mystery, no matter what's on the other side of it, I'm with you. It's about time we were on the same side of things, eh, Bennett?"

Her clear blue eyes are honest and Liv has been a weird help lately. A buffer between Bonnie and Kai and Bonnie and Caroline. Had their first impressions of each other not been borne of manipulation, she wonders if they would've been friends sooner. "A Bennett and a Parker working together? What is this, 1994?"


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's Note:** I like the guesses I've seen in the reviews so far. I won't say who's hot or cold, but damn are y'all perceptive. ;) And thank you, thank you for the kind words. I really do love this story because it's kind of effortless and has been very good for my writing in general, but I love that you guys are intrigued by it as well. Ain't no stopping me now!

* * *

viii.

In her dream, Elena welcomed her back with open arms. A warm and tight embrace meant to replace all the months she'd gone without. This is not how Elena reacts to finding Bonnie at her door.

Bonnie had a small break between classes so she thought to run to her dorm and cram in some studying. As she neared her old room, she remembered the pox was no longer in effect and she could be around her friends. Caroline had made obvious efforts to avoid Bonnie and Liv on campus, fridging them both when they'd happened upon each other at a coffee shop. But Elena was harder to track down. So Bonnie stopped in front of the door to the room that had once been her own and knocked.

Elena stood on the other side of the open entryway and blinked. She didn't move to hug Bonnie, or smile, or speak. She just stared at her.

"Hey, can we talk?"

Elena blinks out of her trance-like state and turns around. On her bed is a messenger bag, an avalanche of textbooks spilling out, and the girl's cell phone chiming every few moments from text messages. "Uh, I'm actually on my way to the hospital. I have a shift with Jo. Is it important?"

"Not really." Bonnie rubs her hands over her arms from an invisible chill. Since when did Elena give the cold shoulder? "I just haven't seen you in a while. How are you?"

Elena tosses her bone straight hair over her shoulder and shrugs. "Good," she says except it comes out like a question. She stuffs her books back in her bag and hooks the strap over her shoulder. "Sorry. I'm really in a hurry. We should catch up later?"

"You sure about that?"

She tilts her head and auburn strands fall over her shoulder again. "What?"

"I moved out and you're adjusting to being human again, but if I did something wrong please let me know. This radio silence between all of us sucks."

"Bonnie," and her name comes out like a parent would say it. Stern and placating. "You said you needed time and space. I didn't argue with you for wanting to leave and now I'm giving you time. That's what you wanted."

"Now I'm not so sure about that..."

Her doll features transform into incredulous humor, raised eyebrows and mouth gaping open in a lopsided smile. "Well, when you figure it out, I'm positive you'll let me know."

Elena moves to the door and Bonnie takes the hint, steps out into the hallway. The former vampire locks up then turns to give a tight smile, which doesn't do much to reassure Bonnie.

"Hey, did Caroline say anything about the other night? I haven't gotten the chance to apologize yet."

"Apologize for what?" Confusion paints her face again. Did Caroline really not blab about the fight in the basement? Elena eyes her with expectation, and when Bonnie mutters "nothing" she takes it at face value and strides down the hall.

Suddenly the idea of being alone in her dorm room is the last thing she wants, so Bonnie stiffens her spine, exits the building, and heads to the library. At least there she can be alone without feeling lonely.

 _x_

Bonnie calls them "glitches". Every time Liv zones out in the middle of a conversation, when she's thinking but it doesn't appear that anything at all is happening behind those baby blues of hers, that's a glitch. Bonnie makes sure to bring it to her attention each time it happens, but the Parker witch is skeptical. Chocks it up to the Bennett's paranoia.

"If this happens so often, why not record it on your phone or something?"

"If I could predict when, I would."

Liv claims it's probably stress, if anything. Classes are doubling down on their course loads – and Tyler is still avoiding her. She confessed the other half of why she'd attacked Kai on Bonnie's birthday.

"He really cared about me and I pushed him away. I think ever since I met him, I've been pushing."

"I've known the guy basically since diapers. When he's all in, he's all in. He just has to ramp up to it. He'll come around."

Liv digests that and it gives her a sense of comfort. Who'd know better than Bonnie? It's not as if she could ask anyone else and trust them to give her a fair shake anyway. For Liv, Bonnie's pretty much it.

Sure, she has Jo – the older sister she was forced to forget she had and it's not like she tried to stick around either. Then there's Kai, which is a barrel of monkeys she's keeping a tight lid on. Outside of her remaining siblings, Tyler, and Bonnie, she's alone on this side of the Mississippi River. With no task to complete on behalf of her coven, she's once again left to her own devices and Luke isn't here to guide her, warn her of landmines before she steps onto the field.

Liv is flying by the seat of her ass – not unlike Bonnie. She figures it's about time she put her magic where her mouth is.

It starts with another ward, this time around their dorm room. Soundproof to prevent neighbors or passersby from witnessing Bonnie's anguished screams from her dreams, which grow in frequency along with these supposed "glitches". She also casts a boundary spell on the room to keep vampires from entering. At all. It was originally Liv's dorm and old habits die hard.

"You gotta meet with the brat pack, you can do it in their space. Even better, do it in public. They can't compel everyone all at once."

Bonnie shivered at the hypothetical because she had witnessed a supernatural reign over a helpless crowd and that was a very dark moment for her. Watching a necklace of red drain down her father's throat and knowing he never saw her face above his as he expired. Her friends aren't nearly as powerful or motivated as Silas had been, but for the sake of Liv's mother hen-ing sanity Bonnie would stick to safe public places. Her gut tells her, though, the other witch's suspicions aren't wholly unfounded – proven by everyone's behavior as of late.

"I visited Elena today." Bonnie glances up from her public speaking textbook. Her cheek resting against her fist and arm propped on her one of her crossed legs, she eyes Liv, peeling off her leather jacket after her shift.

The blonde smirks, a glint of dark humor in her returning gaze. "Visited? She in the hospital already? Should've just stayed a vampire. Unless she took the cure so everyone can go back to rescuing her from paper cuts and hangnails."

"I went by her dorm room." She purposefully ignores the jab. "We didn't really get the chance to talk, but apparently Caroline didn't tell her about what happened at the boarding house."

"Oh, you mean me beating her pious, self-righteous ass? Yeah, makes sense. I'd be embarrassed if I were her, too."

"I thought she'd let it slip to someone. Stefan hasn't even mentioned it and I've seen him around a bunch of times."

"I didn't know you two were that close."

"We used to be..."

Liv twists her hair up in a sloppy bun, tendrils whispering at the nape of her neck, and fetches her towel and toiletries from her side of the closet. "Hate to break it to you but obviously your friends' lives are moving on just fine without you. Which wouldn't be the first or even the second time. You should do the same."

"How?"

"Easy. You're already doing it. You got out from under them, at least geographically, you got yourself a job, you even declared your major – finally."

Bonnie's eyes drop back to her textbook. Speech was the first prerequisite towards a degree in Communications. She always imagined Caroline being the one in this field, but something about the idea of making use of knowing what people want and how to give it to them appeals to her.

"Maybe your next step is to find yourself a boyfriend. Date. When'd you last do that?"

"Jeremy," she instantly deadpans. The air in the room deflates and neither know what to say. Jeremy never did respond to that message Bonnie had left him. She was sure out of all the things that did or didn't actually happen, that voicemail fell firmly in the _did_ pile. His number was in the "called" column of her phone.

Liv's lips go thin, partly because of the awkward dynamic that came with the three of them – her, Bonnie, and the younger Gilbert – and partly because how awful. Did Jeremy really encompass all Bonnie knew about boys and relationships? Had he really been her first, her only? That was pretty sad considering the girl had been a lifeguard, cheerleader, and prom queen. She'd even go as far as to appreciate her physical appeal. Under haphazard layers and her little less than flattering haircut, Bonnie Bennett is hot. Hadn't Jeremy convinced her, at least, of that?

Admittedly, Liv had been attracted to Jeremy way back when but the summer of watching him wallow in misery officially shot that horse in the face. On the one hand, his behavior was completely pathetic. But on the other...she found it sentimental. He'd genuinely, or at least as earnestly as he knew how, mourned Bonnie. His methods were super gross, searching for his beloved in the bodies of other women, but he missed her. Caroline had flown into Action Jackson mode with occasional help from Alaric and Enzo, Elena manipulated Luke into aiding her drug habits, Stefan skipped town, but Jeremy had really cared.

And now he is god knows where doing who knows who or what.

"Well. I know of a guy who'd be thrilled to fill the void–"

"Don't."

"Hey, you have options. You may not like them, but you have them."

"I'd rather become a nun."

"Too late, _Bon Bon_."

Liv retires to the co-ed showers, which leaves Bonnie to think on what she said. Her mind is incapable of entertaining the concept of dating Malachai Parker...but she could find some use in him yet. Sift out the answers to her burdensome questions. See if he's behind her nightmares, knows anything more about magical diseases. Maybe he's come across scenarios like Liv's glitches. He could help her as a show of good faith.

She collapses back on her bed, her head falling onto Ms. Cuddles' round stomach. Underneath the bear, she fishes out her phone and scrolls through its contact list. The night Kai had dinner at the bar, he'd scrawled his number down on the side of the bill. She'd rolled her eyes at the time and used a sprinkling of Expression to make the blue ink vanish before Rodney saw, but not before committing the number to memory. Not as catchy as 555-HIYA-KAI, but it stuck well enough.

Pressing the voice call button and listening with a hollow dread as the rings sound in her ears, she bites her lip. Maybe she should hang up now, forget this lapse in judgment. Or at least call back when she's figured out an actual plan. Before she can decide, the receiver picks up, his cool, unaffected voice answering, "Yello?"

"Kai."

He sighs in her ear. "Seven days exactly. Looks like I owe myself some money." She can hear the amusement in his baritone and wants to hang up on principle. "What can I do ya for?"

"Are you free tomorrow?"

"In a manner of speaking, yes," he drawls and there he goes again, hinting at things beyond Bonnie's reach. Or just being plain ol' difficult and overly verbose. A "yes" would've sufficed.

"Wanna grab a coffee? My treat."

"As tempting as that sounds, I think I'll pass."

"Seriously?"

"Seriously. A coffee date? Do I look like a study buddy to you, _Bonnie_?"

"What happened to wanting to be my friend, _Kai_?"

"Oh, that is very much still on the table. Well, it will be when your poorly disguised attempts to manipulate my feelings for you have been abandoned."

How in the hell... "What are you talking about?"

"About a week and a half ago, you told me to stay away from you. Before that, you said if you saw my face again, you'd melt it off. Now you're calling me up late at night, asking me 'round for drinks of the caffeinated variety, and I'm not supposed to be concerned? Please. I was born at night but not last night."

"Okay, Gramps. What do you have in mind?"

"Dinner. My place. Eight o'clock."

Her mind flashes back to the last time he cooked for her. Thanksgiving, May 10th, 1994. Spaghetti and red wine. That didn't turn out so hot. The scar under her breast twinges at the very memory. "If I trust you with dinner, I'd be a fool."

"Yes, yes, you would be. But what's that saying about trust? The only way to know if you can trust someone is to…trust them?"

"You been reading 'Dear Abby...' columns?"

"Is she still a thing? Huh. Either way, it's sound advice."

"It's stupid is what it is."

"Dinner is my offer on the table, Bon. I'll even cook whatever you'd like to eat."

She almost remarks "rat poison", but she's trying to behave. Play nice. That's the only way this will work in her favor.

"You know you want to..." he goads and he's right. He has a way around the kitchen of which she is envious. Anytime she cooks it's out of necessity, but when he does it it's a performance. He knows he's good at it and wants to show off. And maybe this is her chance to tear down some of his walls.

"Seared salmon, sautéed veggies, and lots of cheap champagne. I won't be late." Then she hangs up and powers down her phone.


	9. Chapter 9

ix.

"No. No. Nooo. Ugh, who told you this looked good? Eh. Oh, abso-fucking-lutely not!"

Liv is a tornado through Bonnie's wardrobe. Merciless and unceasing. Self-consciously, Bonnie tugs at the clothes she wears now, an open knit periwinkle sweater and black leggings, as she watches her roommate ridicule every article of clothing she owns.

"It's like your best friends wanted you to be the unattractive one..."

"Didn't realize you were so fashion forward, Liv."

"You know, I could blame Luke's influence, which would not be far from the truth despite the stereotype, but really I kind of see you as a life-size Barbie doll."

"Gee, thanks, I guess?"

The blonde holds up a shimmery tan ruche party dress and a second hanger with a loose grey shirt with a floral print already paired with a white tank top and a black cardigan. "Okay. We have a serious problem here, Bonnie. And by we, I mean you. Tell me what you see."

"My clothes?"

"Unfortunately. No, here we have ill-fitting and ugly, and way too many layers. I realize we tend to accumulate a lot of clothes over the years, but that does not mean we have to wear them all at once."

"What's wrong with layers?"

"You cover too much of your body." She tosses the hangers onto the floor as if they'd just burned her skin. "Even the cute, stringy, strappy tops you own hang loose so no one knows what you're working with, and will you look at them?"

Both sets of eyes fall to the pile of tops on the floor. Tessellations of maroons, creams, navys, grays, and blacks stare back at them. "Those patterns make me want to pour bleach into my eyes."

"Now you're just being mean. All you wear are jeans, boots, and leather jackets anyway."

"But I'm tall, blonde, and have great boobs. By default, I'm hot without even trying." She shrugs matter-of-factly. Bonnie rolls her eyes but agrees. Liv can get away with that rolled out of bed, "devil may care" look and she often does. Even now in a white t-shirt with the sleeves ripped off and baggy, gray sweatpants cinched at the ankles, she looks so damn effortless. "You, on the other hand, have been given all the raw materials, which are banging by the way. It's like you have the body and coordination of a dancer all without having strapped on pointe shoes. I'm actually jealous. Your presentation is just...off."

"What do you mean?"

"You wear hot tops with sweaters on warm days, there is no rhyme or reason to how you match patterns or fabrics, not to mention you have enough sweaters you should probably have started a cat sanctuary by now. And seriously. When was the last time you let your legs or shoulders see the sun? My advice-"

"Which I didn't ask for. You've just taken it upon yourself-"

"Skip classes today," she barrels on, ignoring the jest. "Get your hair done, go shopping, and please, do this for me, stay away from anything with an empire waist."

"...I have a practice speech in public speaking today. I need all the good grades I can get right now."

"Fine. Skip the shopping and wear...this." Liv pulls a dark green dress with a lattice cut neckline and lacy sleeves out from the back of the closet. She recognizes it from her dream, one she wore as she said her final goodbye to a comatose Elena Gilbert in the Salvatore boarding house. But Elena is alive and well, and it's a really nice dress.

Bonnie runs her hand over the front to feel the texture. It's deceptive, looks coarse but is super soft. She bits her lip, thinks of when she first tried it on and blushed at how the hem barely covered her bottom, the lace tickling her thighs.

"You realize you're dressing me up to go on a date with your brother."

"Let's not make this any weirder than it already is by stating candid observations out loud, huh?"

Bonnie goes to her speech class but skips the others to her hair done. Really, she just gets the hairdresser to cut off the dead ends, her bob becoming more of a face framing cut. She can tuck strands behind her ear more easily than before, but something in her misses her longer hair. It was her curtain, a mask to hide behind.

Whether she likes it or not, she's not hiding anymore.

Things don't feel weird until she gets back to her dorm to change. It's as if she's being watched, so she makes sure she shuts the curtains and turns Ms. Cuddles around for good measure. The creeping feeling doesn't dissipate, so she steps over to her desk and makes the ceramic bird bookend face the wall.

Then she dresses. Smooths the fabric over her stomach, tugs the hem when it wants to rise a little too high for her comfort. But it's kind of perfect. When she bought the dress, she told herself it was for a rainy day. She wanted to take a match to all the plaid she owned, but the amount of skin on display was a little much for her first few days back in the real world. Who knew this would be her rainy day? But suddenly she remembers who she's about to visit, so she pairs her outfit with her boots, worn and good for running - just in case.

His place is in the middle of the college town. Down the main street where the bar sits is a row of businesses with apartments above them. From the sidewalk and looking up, Bonnie notes that Kai has a perfect view of the bar. Of course he does. Along the side of his building, one he shares with a family-owned pharmacy, is an iron staircase, which she ascends with her hand pressing the hem of the back of her dress flush to her thighs.

When Kai opens the door, he lets out a low whistle. "Did you get all dolled up for me?"

"Actually your sister thought I should wear it. I picked the boots."

He chuckles. "Ever the buzzkill, aren't you, Bon?"

There's that nickname again. She swore he never called her that in the prison world, not with that long stretch of time all to themselves. No, this "Bon" thing had only picked up when she got out. To her knowledge, it began that night at the club. He'd slipped it into his misguided apology. There she stood, clenched like a cat cornered by the man she'd only just warned about Kai - and Kai.

" _Bon, did you hear what I said?_ "

She had, vaguely. Caught the gist of it but was a little busy relieving their darkest moments together to really focus on his lamentations. But it was that name, that abbreviated term said with affection that had been her last straw. He'd called her "Bon", like they were friends. As if he'd accidentally stepped on the back of her shoe causing her to trip or left her out of movie night plans because he thought someone else had already called her. That one happened with Elena and Caroline a lot.

No. The pain he'd caused her had been deliberate and he's not allowed to act like it wasn't. So, yeah, he doesn't get to call her Bon.

"Can you not?" She whirls to face him as he shuts the door. Her arms folded at her chest, instantly wishing she'd brought a sweater.

Kai's expression crumples in confusion. "Not what?"

"Not call me that."

"Your name?"

"No, that - _Bon_." Her eyes stay trained on his chest, specifically the undone buttons of his shirt. "It's Bonnie. Okay."

His gaze narrows and lips purse, but he doesn't fight her. "All right, _Bonnie_."

She barely looks up at him before moving further into the main room and setting her sights on literally anything but him. His apartment has an open air layout. Exposed brick siding and dark cherry hardwood floors. Large windows open to the bright night sky. She nears a window that looks out onto the block. Squinting, she can make out Liv weaving around tables of patrons.

He got out of 1994 before she did, she reminds herself. He'd already found his siblings, so of course he'd know where Liv worked. He probably got this place to keep an eye on her. This isn't about Bonnie. But she makes a mental note to steer clear of the front windows of the bar when she can help it.

The furniture is pretty modern, nondescript. Taupe denim sofas and cream area carpets. Giant canvases with bleeding colors fill the spaces between the windows, and she wonders if this is his preferred decorating style or if he's subletting.

Turning, she finds him watching her. He keeps his distance not wanting to spook her. He's got his hands tucked in the pockets of his navy slacks, shoulders rolled forward in a grey henley.

Arms still crossed about herself, she chews on her thumbnail and steps in his direction. Behind him she can make out partitions to other rooms and an iron staircase on the back wall. Glancing up, she realizes there's another floor, a loft with iron railing, like an indoor balcony, interrupting its progress to the far wall.

"What's up there?" she wonders, her thumb resting on her bottom lip.

"The bedroom," and he states it plainly. "You're welcome to take a look-see." No flirt, no hidden meaning. He shrugs and disappears into what she suspects is the kitchen.

She'd be lying if she said she wasn't tempted. Does the interior design match the living room or does his personal style revert back to teenage boy in arrested development? But she stops herself, reigns in her curiosity. The last thing she wants is to lead him on more than she already is. Instead, she steps closer to the dining table and raises her eyebrow at the vase of flowers. Freshly cut and fragrant. Calla Lilies. Gorgeous - and poisonous. Beside the vase are two glasses and a bottle of wine. She picks up the latter and frowns.

"Wha-what is... Kai?"

At the alarm strong in her voice, he rushes out of the kitchen to her side, invading her personal space but careful to not touch her. "What, what's wrong?" His eyes fall from the side of her pinched face to the bottle in her hand. "...It's champagne. You said champagne."

"I said _cheap_ champagne. Emphasis on cheap. A bottle like this is, like, a hundred bucks."

"Not to send you into a tizzy, but it's a little more than that. I might have made a few phone calls to get that one."

"Why?"

"Because I like it." He grabs the bottle by its neck and pulls it from her grasp. "Not everything is about impressing you, geez." Twisting the cork out, he pours two glasses full and then tilts the bottle to his lips and takes a long pull.

"You're not the only one with nerves," he mutters, his voice husky, before setting the bottle back down and returning to the kitchen.

Hesitantly, she trails him and tries to keep her jaw closed when she sees the spread. He prepared exactly what she asked for and made it look better than the chefs do on TV. Skillet seared salmon, braised green beans, and a tossed salad at the far end of the counter.

He catches her out of his peripheral and smirks. Taking a string bean from a plate, he holds it under his nose like a mustache. "Hope you like garlic. Helps ward away _eeeeviiiiil_." Then he flashes her a smile, his canines glistening, before chomping down on the vegetable.

Before she can stop herself, a laugh bubbles out of her chest and blows hot air from her lips. Then, to combat her quivering mouth, she rolls her eyes and says, "You're ridiculous."

"Always. You like balsamic?"

Shrugging, her attention flickers past him to a covered plate that's been set apart from their food. "What'd you make over there?"

He smiles wide, lit with pride. "It's a surprise."

"What, you cut out your father's heart?"

He deflates. "Buzz. Kill. It's dessert." Then he sighs, knowing she is going to make him work for this dinner date.

She steps around him because she wants to take a peek, but he tsks at her. When she looks over at him, he has a spatula pointed at her and a stern expression. Better a spatula than a butcher knife, is her fleeting thought. "I wouldn't do that if I were you."

"Why not?"

"You'll get dessert if you deserve dessert."

She scoffs, incredulity causing her to drop her arms to her sides and face him fully. "I think I deserve it."

"Oh, you do, do you?"

"Yup. All things considered, _oh yeah_."

He rubs his knuckles against his brow. "What happened to our new leaf? Blank slate?"

"You and I both know there is no restart button on life."

"You'd be surprised..." Then he shrugs his shoulders. "Fine. Have it your way, ruin your appetite."

Her hands settle around the cover and she lifts it to reveal a plate of plush cheesecake drizzled in cherry glaze and topped with freshly pitted cherries. This time, she don't stop her jaw from dropping. "You made this?"

"From scratch."

Again, she reigns in her anxiety and sinks her teeth into her bottom lip. Jabs her finger at the plate. "I want dessert first."

"Of course you do."

"Wait," she says and the atmosphere shifts again. That ever present cloud of suspicion.

"You think I laced it with rat poison?" Her eyebrows go up, begging the question _Did you?_ Groaning, he gets nearer, sets his hands on either side of her waist, trapping her between him and the counter. He heaves a heavy sigh and stares down at her. She audibly gulps, the Expression under her skin licking like flames ready to lash out, but he doesn't revel in that fear within her, not anymore.

He maneuvers a spoon next to his right hand into his left behind her back and takes a scoop of the cheesecake. Red syrup drips down but he's careful it doesn't fall on either of them. Then he puts the spoonful in his mouth and licks the metal clean. Bonnie holds her breath the entire time, her green eyes wide with something he can't quite place. Worst case scenario: shock. Best case? Arousal. Holding the spoon between them, his eyes find her lips, separated and bruised from her always chewing on them.

"Your turn."

Just like that, he steps back and goes to set the table. She struggles to regulate her erratic heart rate, her stomach too full of nerves to want to eat anything now.

 _x_

"I do have one question."

"Oh, boy." She takes a swig of her champagne, which goes down smooth, and she's now regretting drinking on an empty stomach. Her lips have gotten too loose. Who knows what she'll say, admit, or agree to?

"Relax, will ya? I figure since we have this growing rapport..." He clears his throat. "My sister Jo is getting married to your friend Ric. Saturday. I am asking you to be my plus one to the ceremony."

"Like you're actually invited," she all but giggles.

"Hello, newly crowned leader of the Gemini coven. I'm practically a part of the wedding party. Technically, I'm supposed to be _in_ the ceremony, coven rituals and whatnot, but Jo's foregoing tradition. The wedding's already a shotgun one, why stick to pretenses now?"

"And when you show up at the door with no invite and they have strict orders to not let you in, what then?"

"Then you bat those Bambi eyes of yours and convince them."

She does giggle, hides her wet mouth with the back of her hand. "What in the world makes you think I have any sort of sway? I hardly know Jo, and Alaric and I aren't the best of buds."

"You're a Bennett. You're practically royalty. Tell 'em you're there to represent your coven family line."

"One, I have no invite. Two, I'm not sure there's ever been a coven of Bennett witches. We're all pretty scattered and have always been." In her experience, any mention of a Bennett witch has often been followed by foot maiden to blah blah blah. She sometimes wondered if they were all together, would their chances of survival be greater? Or are they doomed to be picked off by fate one-by-one?

"Shame. I've got a real hankering for wedding cake."

She quirks up her eyebrows.

"What? I thought girls liked things like weddings and parties. Flowers, love, pretty dresses."

"I wouldn't know. I don't get a lot of invitations to big, frilly events." She frowns. The last time she got dressed up, really dressed up was...prom. She knows for a fact that wasn't the only event worthy of frills in Mystic Falls in the last few years, but that had been the last one for her.

Kai drops his fork. "Isn't your town's MO, like, founder's week or something? Barbecues, parties, pageants, parades? Are you honestly telling me you've never been a Miss Mystic Falls or practiced your Princess Diana wave from a hitch on the back of a pickup truck?"

Somberly, she tucks a fallen chunk of hair behind her ear. "I am."

"Well, that's an injustice if I've ever heard one." He takes a sip from his glass. "Tough toenails. We're going to that wedding. _It's our right_."

Her lips twinge in the beginnings of a smile, but she stops herself, hampered again by doubt. "Maybe we just let it slide. Skip the drama. I hear Caroline's taken over as wedding planner, so drama is inevitable and I think you and I have had more than our fair share of it."

Her mind reverts to shattered glass, bloodied bouquets, and collapsed lungs, but the ceremony is less than a week away. It'd be hard to imagine a reality where that's how this wedding turns out. Not when she's so civilly seated across from Kai, him savoring the dinner he's prepared. No obvious ulterior motives other than shared company...

Before she can fully conceive this possible train of thought, she changes the subject. "So how many girls have you slept with since you got out?"

His jaw tightens around a morsel of salmon and his glare when turned at her is hard.

"I imagine loads. Every shade of hair and skin color, probably." She waves her wine glass around, sloshing its contents. "You were tucked away for eighteen years, right? It makes sense you'd want to have some fun."

He gulps, his Adam's apple bobbing. "I was a little preoccupied."

"I don't believe that. You left me on Thanksgiving. I didn't get here until March. That's, what, four months?"

He grin is wry, gaze cold. He doesn't much like this line of questioning. "What's that to almost twenty years?"

"I'm just saying. If I were imprisoned for that long without..." Her eyes go up towards the ceiling, the loft, "steak, I know that's exactly what I'd want once I got out."

"Did you just compare sex with a female - to meat?"

She shrugs.

He wipes his mouth with his napkin then tosses it on the tabletop. "What are you doing?"

"Digging."

"For?"

"Why I'm really here."

He waves his hands over their plates. "Dinner."

"And?"

" _Conversation_."

"Nothing else?"

"Nothing else," he repeats, his eyes filled with irritation, but they settle into mirth. "You obviously have other ideas, which I am more than willing to entertain, but no. Not on my end of things." He snorts. "Boy, you're a suspicious sort."

"Give me one reason why I shouldn't be."

He nods, more to himself, and diverts his gaze back down at his plate. He's all but licked it clean while Bonnie's hardly touched her own. Reaching over, he ignores the way she tenses, grabs a hold of her plate, and sets it down on top of his. Unceremoniously, he digs in.

"The human body has needs. That's just a fact of life. Truth is, you can find things to substitute a need. Redirect that energy."

"Sublimate," she offers. Caroline uses it a lot, usually in reference to the thirst of a vampire.

"I like to think of it as obsession. For eighteen years, I obsessed about magic and power and giving my coven its just desserts. Turns out me becoming coven leader sated all those violent fantasies. I've since moved on."

"To what?"

That's when he looks up at her and his silent answer lies behind clouded grey eyes. "To answer your question, I've slept with no one since I got out." Then he smirks. "I'm saving myself for someone special."

A fist banging on the door distracts Kai long enough for Bonnie to blush and then mar its presence on her cheeks by sliding her hands over her face. He gets up to answer the unexpected guest and returns with Liv.

"Oh, good, you didn't kill her. Proud of you, bro."

Kai rolls his eyes and he starts to clear the table. "Well, this has been swell. We should really do this again sometime, Bon - _Bonnie_. Shame your mom has to pick you up so early."

"Um, no. I'm way more of a cool young aunt than a mom."

Bonnie clears her throat. "You are kind of being a mom. You could've waited downstairs."

"This is the thanks I get for being nice?" She sniffs, "Duly noted."

As Bonnie stands and readies herself to leave, Kai keeps his back turned. Busies himself with their dishes and half empty wine glasses. Liv steals whatever is left in the champagne bottle and heads for the door. Bonnie follows but pauses, grabs the side of the doorway and leans against it. "Kai?"

He peeks his head out of the kitchen, his gaze dark and guarded once again. "Yes?"

"I'll see you Saturday?"

For a moment, his eyes lighten and he nods once, biting back a grin.

"And thanks for dinner."

"Maybe next time you'll actually eat something."

"Maybe..."


	10. Chapter 10

**Author's Note:** I tend to write chapters in the notes on my phone before I move them into an MS document, so oop this one is, like, twice as long as my usual updates. Thanks for the reviews, as always, loves.

* * *

x.

"It's you and me, Bennett!" Liv announces, yanking Bonnie by the arm as she's exiting her lecture hall.

The Expression within her has been roiling more and more lately. Literally everything is a perceived threat and sometimes she can't control it. Yesterday a classmate slammed down his stack of books on a table and scared Bonnie so badly every light bulb in the room exploded. So when Liv grabs her with a tone like that, it's a masterful effort for her magic to not lash out at the other witch.

Extricating her arm from the vise grip on it, she falls in step with Liv as they move down the busy corridor. "What now?" she asks as if she being accused of something. And maybe she's been waiting for this, this confrontation.

Things have been surprising not-weird between the girls since her date with Kai – even now she shudders to think of it as that. Liv wasn't gung-ho to dissect every word said or glance made, like Caroline would, nor was she quick to quell Bonnie's self-conscious anxiety like Elena might. She was clinical, thorough enough to know Bonnie's got Kai exactly where they want him.

"He's hooked, you just need to reel that magic sucker in."

But Bonnie isn't so convinced. There is still some power dynamic at play, an invisible push and pull, but the boundary lines aren't so clear anymore. Not when he pulls a stunt like he did with the cheesecake, assaulting her with his close proximity. Those eyes like atmospheres, the warmth of him so near to her, his refusal to make skin to skin contact. Not to mention his newest albeit secret obsession and her growing suspicion that it may just center on her. He wants friendship, and who knows what else, and she wants answers. They are made to orbit the other.

It's obvious enough that even Rodney notices. One night during her shift, she saddled up on a stool beside him by the bar, her attention on his arms. His tattoos. Salient black veins. "What's it supposed to mean?"

He gave a lopsided grin and appraised her out of the corner of his eye. "If I tell you..." he drawled, hints of a Tennessean accent slipping.

"You'd have to kill me?"

"Nah, just wipe your memory. Men In Black style." He rubbed his hand over his forearm, ruffling soft, blond hair. "What would you say if I told you it's not a tattoo?"

"I'd say you must wake up very early in the morning to sharpie that on every day."

His eyebrow rose in secret amusement, his gaze on the folder of paperwork in front of them. It's cheaper to be one's own accountant. "How about I tell you they're a reminder of some old shit I'll never dabble in again and we leave it at that?"

"I've got a few of those kind of reminders myself," she remarked, her hand absentmindedly resting on her stomach, thumb grazing the puckered scar over her shirt. Her eyes floated towards the front windows where she spied Kai ascending the staircase to his apartment, arms full of groceries.

Rodney clocked this shift in attention. "I know you said he's the one with a crush, but - are you sure it's just him?"

"What makes you say that?"

"You two are like cat and mouse, Bonnie. Only I can never tell who's Tom and who's Jerry."

Bonnie thinks now is the time for Liv say her peace. It is weird, this dance Kai and Bonnie are doing and how Liv seems to be playing chaperone. But that is not what this is about.

"I have it on good authority," Liv links her arm with Bonnie's and leans down so prying ears can't hear. "That your _besties_ are throwing my sister a bachelorette party. I take offense because I wasn't invited - and that's _my_ sister."

Bonnie's stomach loosens. She really is wound tight. She exhales a breath of relief, "You want to hijack the party."

"Yes, yes, I do. And you're going to help me."

That ill-fated dream of hers creeps back into her mind. Elena and Bonnie surprising Jo at the hospital with not one but two male strippers. Fries and party hats at the same diner her not-lunch date with Kai took place before their not-hop into the non-existent 1903 prison world. Her bleeding from the neck, held in the arms of a very concerned Jo Parker. The Jo here never looks at Bonnie that way. Smiles are cordial and greetings, short and sweet.

"Your sister is a pregnant doctor. What would she even want to do? Laser tag is probably out of the question."

Liv stops, and Bonnie is forced to halt with her. Her eyes skip to their interlocked arms and she's a little perplexed at the physical contact. Liv notices this too and slips her arm back to her side. "Elena got strippers."

Well, at least this Elena is true to form. "Really? Who told you?"

"People talk," she smirks, making Bonnie wonder who Liv's been talking to. Elena hadn't mentioned it, not that they've spoken. Nor has Caroline. Or Damon. It's radio silence from the lot of them. Matt checks in every now and then, but Liv was right. Life is moving on – without her. Might as well move with it.

A conspiratorial grin spreads across Bonnie's face, and Liv brightens. " _Tell me_."

"I see Elena's strippers and raise her – crashing the boys' bachelor party."

"Wicked. I mean, it's not like it'll be a total sausage fest there anyway. I love it!" She pumps her fist and maybe for the first time gives Bonnie a genuine smile.

 _x_

It's easy and devious and forgive her, but Bonnie never got to be this petty in high school.

Liv calls Jo in a panic, makes up some story about not being able to get a hold of their father. She's trying to get him to make the wedding but he's been unreachable for a while. His trail went cold not long after the failed-merge, actually. Even Kai hasn't heard from him.

Or so she says.

Jo talks her little sister down from a ledge, and Bonnie wonders if it's really that simple. Eighteen years apart but they fall right back into that familial camaraderie. Things hadn't been like that with Abby, try as they might.

"Maybe if we did a locator spell – together – we can find him."

"Liv, you know I don't have magic anymore," the voice sighs, the sound reverberating softly over speakerphone. Bonnie shrugs, her lips pursed, not sure how to help.

"But... Jo, you're Dad's favorite. He let you go, let you live your life outside of the coven. You think Luke and I could've ever done that? No chance. If anyone can help me, magic or no magic, it's you."

Bonnie's impressed. Liv's been brushing up on her tools of manipulation. If she wasn't in on the lie, she'd believe it were truth.

"Okay, I'll get someone to cover my shift. Where are you?"

"Pulling into the hospital parking lot right now." She smirks at Bonnie in the passenger seat. They've been sitting there for at least twenty minutes. Over at the main entrance, they watch Elena and Caroline blush as they talk to two police officers before slipping inside. Jo will leave from the far left exit, from the office side of the building.

Oops.

"Okay, give me _two_ minutes."

They hang up, and Bonnie scrambles into the backseat of Liv's car. Tucked back, she waits. Liv hums idly along with the radio but gets keyed up when she sees Jo stamping along the sidewalk to the car.

"Showtime," she mutters before her face melts into the distress of a worried daughter. The passenger side door opens and Liv bends her body over the center console to envelope Jo in a hug. The girl is all limbs and maybe that's a part of her act. "Oh, thank you, thank you!"

Jo shushes her as she pets her wild yellow hair down. "Hey, we'll find him. It's Dad. He's never far away, whether we want him to be or not."

As they separate Liv sniffs, though no tears promise to appear. "You're right. Besides, I talked to Kai and I think I have a lead."

This is when Jo tenses, her seatbelt snug across her middle. "I am not dealing with him right now. And you should stop, too. Who's to say he won't help us find Dad just so he can kill him his own damn self?"

Liv is suddenly at a loss, so Bonnie strikes. She leans forward from where she sits – Jo never even noticed her – and places her hands at either side of the headrest. She mutters a sleeping spell, and the eldest Parker sibling slumps in the seat. Without hesitation, Liv peels out of the parking lot before Bonnie's friends realize they've been thwarted.

 _x_

The yard is packed with cars and really, Bonnie isn't the least bit shocked. The Salvatores know how to throw a rager, even if ninety percent of the guests are strangers and way too young for the company they keep.

Liv parks behind Matt's pickup truck and kills the engine. She nods to Bonnie, who then lifts the spell. Within moments, Jo blinks awake, disoriented but fine. Bonnie used a light spell, nothing that would hurt Jo or her growing womb, but it's all she can do to calm the beast. Each time she uses Expression, it seeks out a foothold, something to anchor itself to become a never ceasing flow of power.

As Jo gets her bearings and turns her suspicions on her baby sister, Bonnie leans back into the seat and breathes deeply for long moments.

The sisters bicker back and forth about Liv's lie. _Is our father even really missing?_ Actually, yes, but who cares? _The point of bachelor and bachelorette parties is the separation._ You're already pregnant, it's a little too late for that. _I can't even drink!_ Then I'll do it double for you. Bonnie can be the DD.

Finally, cool blue eyes land on the Bennett witch. "That sleeping spell? Not. Cool."

So much for first impressions. Bonnie shrugs sheepishly, but she's not really sorry. "Liv is the brains of this operation. I'm just the secret weapon."

"C'mon, Jo. Like you really wanted to spend your night with male strippers."

"Who got me strippers?"

"...no one. Forget I said anything. Look, you're already picking and choosing which traditions you want to keep and which to break from. How about make a new one? Dual bachelor-bachelorette parties. You know you want to see your future hubby..."

Jo rolls her eyes but she can't argue. Instead, she grumbles something about this not becoming a tradition because she intends this to be her only marriage. She throws a glimpse at Bonnie again. "My mom and your grandmother were just as sneaky. I don't know how they'd feel about this next generation." Then she winks, and Bonnie relaxes.

"Party time?"

 _x_

The yard does not compare to the pandemonium inside the boarding house. It's as if each vehicle was used to carpool everyone in the tri-county area here. There are strangers and then strangers to the strangers. Dancing on tables, playing beer pong on the patio, and there is even the den for those who'd rather stay "mellow".

I guess you never really leave high school, Bonnie thinks. Jo and Liv stay close to her side, trying to keep upright from the rocking of the crowd. Music blares from unseen speakers and this mess will take weeks to clean up. In the midst of the heat of sweaty bodies and furious gyrations, a wind whips through the foyer and a tall form appears.

"Do I need to explain the concept for gender-specific parties to you three?"

Bonnie sends a lazy gaze over his shoulder at a girl in front of the fireplace, wearing not much of anything while guys and girls alike tuck dollar bills into the scant amount of clothing she has on. The Parkers make the same discovery.

"Do I?" is Jo's cold reply. "Where's my fiancé? I really doubt he's having as much fun as you think he is."

Damon sneers but paints a tight smile on his lips all the same. "Library." Jo slips away and he turns his attention on the two witches. "Party crashers, huh? I think I'd like you to leave now."

"I think I'd like you to bite me." Liv starts to move deeper into the house, but Damon throws his arm in her way.

"I wouldn't tempt me if I were you."

Her eyebrow quirks upwards. "Oh, I'd like to see you do your worst." She narrows her eyes and his brows start to knit in agony. "No offense to Bonnie, but don't forget I've been at this magic thing a lot longer than her. Aneurysms are coloring books compared to my arsenal."

She strides away and Bonnie stays behind, watches cautiously as Damon recuperates. His eyes are daggers at Liv's retreating body. "I'm really starting to hate that family." He exhales sharply through his nose before turning his attention to Bonnie.

"What is this, _Three Billy Goats Gruff_?"

"And I'm the troll in this scenario? Ouch, I'm hurt, Bonbon." A grin overtakes his face and it's actually really nice to see him again. There's a place in her chest he's carved himself into and most times she doesn't mind. "You hang around with riff-raff and suddenly forget how to work a phone?"

"I could say the same for you." She starts to walk off, but he's hot on her heels. "Texting works both ways, you know."

"Elena said space. I was giving you space."

"You're giving me the Atlantic, Damon. You all are." They squeeze through to the kitchen, and Bonnie reaches for a bottle of water in a cooler. Of course she'd be at a party of this magnitude and have to be sober. "If I'd known this would be my welcome home brigade, I might have stuck it out in ninety-four."

"I saw the highlights reel. I doubt that."

She glares up at him. Of all the things he could scoff at, she never imagined her lowest of low moments would be in that number.

"Have another bourbon, Damon. You're not surly enough yet."

She goes to walk off but his hand latches onto her arm. She can't help it and she wouldn't if she could. A sharp vine of magic escapes from where they touch, wrapping itself around Damon's forearm. A rapidly spreading necrosis forms on his skin, blistered and scarred. The pink, pickled flesh grows angry and he snatches his arm to his chest, his accelerated healing taking over. He glares at Bonnie with astonishment in his eyes. "You just Wade Wilson'd me."

"You heard Liv. Aneurysms are child's play."

She slinks away before he can react and finds herself in the hallway. A blond ducks out of a room and they approach each other. Matt gazes down at her, a smile that's both warm and concerned. "You made it."

"Yeah, thanks for the invite but I don't think the host is too thrilled."

"When is Damon ever?"

She smiles back. "You know any of these people?" Their eyes watch the ebbing masses, stumbling upstairs and clogging the hallway just to suck face with someone they probably just met. They aren't people she recognizes from Whitmore nor are they old classmates from high school, or those in the classes after them.

"Not. A. One."

"Where do the Salvatores find them?"

"Facebook?" His grin is crooked when she glances back up at him, and her anxiety settles. At least there's one person here who's happy to see her. His grin is short lived, though, as his eyes flicker over her shoulder. "Incoming."

She turns just in time to have her arms wretched by an angry Caroline and equally irritated yet mute Elena. They drag her away from Matt, up the stairs, and deposit her in Damon's bedroom. His happens to be the only room where debauchery isn't currently taking place. Yet.

" _Seriously_ , Bonnie?"

She's not so gently thrown onto the king size mattress and braces herself against the silky comforter. Caroline is pissed. Royally. "What?"

"I can forgive you moving out. I can forgive you becoming best friends forever with Rapunzel's wicked step sister. I can even forgive you becoming all buddy-buddy with Malachai Parker. Me and least of all Elena are in no position to judge. But sabotaging our bachelorette party for Jo? _Low. Blow_. You know you still have to pay dancers even if they don't take their clothes off?"

"You could've still had them dance," she murmurs before hiccuping a giggle.

"You think this is funny?"

"Hilarious," and now she can't help herself. Her giggles become laughs until tears slip down her face and she tries to catch her breath. Elena's a sentry, brooding by the door while Caroline's arched eyebrows furrow in further irritation.

"Care to share with the class?"

"I knew something was wrong. I knew it! You two have never known when to leave well enough alone – except when it comes to me. I mean, I get it. You're respecting my need for space, something I cannot, for the life of me, ever remember asking. But that's fine. Thank you.

"But wow! This is has been an ice age of biblical proportions. For weeks, I was convinced I did something horribly wrong. Unforgivable. And I racked my brain. Had we fought? Attempted to kill one another? Did I kiss someone I wasn't supposed to?"

The other girls flinch, their minds soaring to their respective Salvatores and how Bonnie is the one girl who hasn't been a notch on those belts. That they know of.

"I didn't." Bonnie shrugs. "I know I would remember something like _that_. So why are the girls I would've died for, and kind of already have, fridging me?"

She crosses her legs into herself and plasters on the widest grin she possibly can. "And then I realized it's not me! Of course it's not me. All I did was die. Twice. What's your excuse?"

"My mom just died, Bonnie."

"The whole becoming a human thing?"

She nods solemnly. "Yeah, those are pretty good reasons. If this was the first time you've treated me like this." The girls blanch, but she presses on. "When I died, the first time just so we're being specific, you guys didn't care."

"Bonnie, we didn't know." Elena steps forward, clearly hurt by the accusation.

"True, and part of that is my bad. Jeremy was very convincing in those emails. But when I didn't show up for orientation? Or registration? My father's funeral? You took it at face value and that was it."

"Bon, we-"

"I saw you! I was there!"

Caroline can't argue and neither does Elena. They didn't bother to really research Bonnie's whereabouts until they needed her – no, her magic. Would they have ever worried had Jeremy never spilled the beans?

She juts her chin in Elena's direction. "You didn't even tell her about what happened in the cellar."

"What happened?"

"Bonnie's new bestie was a pain in my ass is what happened. Ever locate your magic, _Bon Bon_?"

"Oh, I've got magic." She thinks to let a little leak out, show them what for, but these are still her friends and threats amongst them would be a new low.

Caroline seethes, "Since when does Bonnie Bennett hold a grudge?"

"Dunno. But you're welcome to ask Silas."

 _You know, you're more likely to die at the hands of your gal pal Caroline. You make some snippy comment and she snips off your tongue..._

Her brows go up and her eyes, wide. "Oh. My. God." Her friends make questioning looks at her. "Kai was right," she says breathlessly, as the revelation takes all the air out of the room. "Just my luck a sociopath would teach me a lesson on friendship."

She rubs her hands down her face and hops off the bed. "Jo is here, if you can find her, and I'm sure you'll find plenty of people to strip for her. Free of charge." Her path to the door is unopposed and her fingers pause at the doorknob.

"I'm glad we had this talk."

 _x_

The night has shifted, but Bonnie blames the alcohol. Partygoers move sluggishly about the boarding house, the music has grown melancholy, and she can't find a single soul she knows. She thinks to call Liv when her cell phone vibrates in her pocket. Kai.

"You are the king of bad timing."

"I'll take that as a compliment."

"You shouldn't." She rolls her eyes and leans against the banister at the bottom of the staircase. A charged look goes between her and her friends as they move to leave, but she shakes it off. "What do you want?"

"How's the party?"

"How'd you know?"

"It's like you're standing inside a Bose speaker. Your response should've been 'which party?'"

She sucks her teeth. "You're the one who said your sister was foregoing tradition. It's the rager of the century here at the boarding house."

"And I didn't warrant an invite?"

"If it makes you feel better, I've got enough homicidal urge for the both of us right now."

There's a throaty groan on his end on the line. "Say that again but slower..."

She coughs a laugh then clears her throat. "You know, I wouldn't consider us friends just yet, so was there a real reason you called me?"

"Yeah, but I forgot. Kind of hard to focus when Bonnie Bennett's talking about murder. Are you trying to make me hot under the collar? Because it's working."

"Well, if that's all..." She goes to pull the phone away and hang up when she hears his "wait!" "Yes?"

"I wanted to know... What color is your dress?"

She freezes, looks down to remember what she's wearing. Jeans, boots, off the shoulder sweater - Liv approved. Her vendetta against Bonnie's clothes is now a bone she won't bury. What dress is he talking about?

"Tomorrow," he prompts. " _The wedding_. I didn't want us to clash."

"Oh. Um..." To be honest, she hadn't thought that far ahead and now her thoughts are cloudy with all the possible images of Kai - in a tuxedo. How suave he could look, how terrifying and bloody he did look. Didn't. "Uh."

He waits. "You have a dress, don't you?"

"Of course," she lies, but somehow he can tell.

"Do I need to take you shopping before the ceremony tomorrow, Bonnie?" his deep voice rumbling and mocking in the shell of her ear. She can almost imagine his warm breath on the side of her face. Like when he stood beside her and chided her about expensive wine. His broad chest heaving with each breath as she held her own.

She shakes the phantom away. " _No_. My dress is red."

His laugh is like thunder. "Red to a wedding? Hope that's not a bad omen."

"You're a bad omen," she bites back and hangs up before they both get too comfortable. Tyler hurries past with Matt frowning apologetically behind him. On cue, Liv appears and pulls her through the throng of people and out of the boarding house. "What's wrong?"

"What isn't?"

They stumble down the driveway. They're almost to the car when Bonnie yanks Liv into stopping. Frankly, she's been manhandled enough for one day. "What - is going on?"

Harried, frustrated, and her hair smelling of beer, Liv squints around the yard. They both can see Tyler and Matt arguing in the cab of his truck. "Is it me or is everyone acting very strange lately?"

Bonnie folds her arms, beating back the chance to say _I told you so._ "You mean like I've been saying for weeks?"

"Yeah." Recognition dawns on her face. "Yeah, exactly like you've been saying. Getting a straight answer out of someone shouldn't be harder than pulling nails."

"Who?"

"Tyler. He's...wooden – and not in the euphemistic sense," she scoffs humorlessly. "It's like he's not even there, just some mirror image of him."

"So you did finally talk to him?"

"I tried. He wouldn't listen to me. At first I thought I really hurt his feelings, ya know because of my whole suicidal-vengeance plan, but this is different. He's distracted."

"Maybe he's seeing someone else?"

Her eyes go dark. "Not that kind of distracted." She huffs. "Can we go? I'm not in the mood to party anymore."

Their attention crawls to the boarding house, a beast of its own design. How can a place she once called home seem like such a haunted house? Shaking her head, Bonnie pulls out her phone to check the time. "Yeah, but one stop before we head back to campus."

Liv unlocks the car and opens her door. "Where?"

"I need a dress. And someone to bribe the shop owner to open this late."

"Bonnie," she whines, eyes like rolling marbles. "We're _witches_. We don't need bribes when we've got magic."


	11. Chapter 11

**Author's Note:** if it's any consolation, this made it all the way from my phone to my email - and then it gathered dust. oop.

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xi.

This is a dream. It cannot be anything but the twisted mechanism of her off-duty consciousness. She knows she's dreaming, yet still she's terrified.

She can feel the hot, slick heat beneath her fingers. Tries to grab a hold but can't, not quite. It won't stop moving, won't quit twitching. Throbbing. The thud of it in her hand. It's a dream because there is no way she could've burrowed her hand into the cage of her ribs to caress her own beating heart. The blood spilling from the open wound in her chest, it's too much. Her body doesn't hold this many pints but there it is, dripping down her forearms and painting her toes.

Her face is a mask of horror, she can tell without needing a reflection to confirm. There is a wrongness about this. Who is she to inflict such pain on herself? Who are these eyes watching but doing nothing to stop her? Really, who are they? They stand steeped in shadows and all she can make out are silhouettes in the glow of the fireplace.

They say once your mind realizes you're dreaming, it wants to push you up and out of sleep. But if you hold on tight enough, you can steer. Bonnie does neither. She can't pull herself out of this nightmare nor does she have control of it. All she can do is slip and slide her fingers against the pumping muscle, expelling a new wave of blood with each compression and release.

A shadow moves, appears in front of her. "Here, let me," it says before tearing her heart out of her chest. She registers dark brows and crystal blue eyes before she crumples to the cold floor.

Damon.

 _x_

Waking out of her latest night terror affords her a few revelations. She didn't scream herself awake this time, a slumbering Liv in the other bed evidence of that. Instead, tears are in a free fall down her face, their trails of salt curving over her nose, her cheeks, dying on her pillowcase.

Every nightmare has been leading up to this. Each one a clue. Sometimes all she could see were the shadows and the fireplace. In others all she could smell was ash and salt and iron. The scariest were the ones when it was like being in a sensory deprivation chamber, see nothing, hear nothing, say nothing. In those dreams like vacuums, all she could do was feel. The shift in temperature, the pressure in her chest, the wetness at her fingertips. Never before had she gotten the full picture.

She shifts in her bed, sits up, and wipes at her face. Her dress lays at the foot of her bed, red and strappy and crushed velvet. Before leaving Mystic Falls, they drove to a boutique Bonnie had always liked. She couldn't afford most of its collection but she loved window shopping or giving solicited advice whenever Elena or Caroline asked. The owner lives in a bungalow next to the shop and Liv entranced him to open late and give Bonnie a sizable discount on the dress. The voice in the back of her head wondered how different Liv's spell was from compulsion, a vampire ability that always rubbed her the wrong way and she was not so secretly glad she was immune to. Liv had shrugged off her guilt, told her it doesn't force the other person to do something they don't absolutely want to do. It's way more encouragingly persuasive, less "date rape-y".

And the dress is gorgeous. Fit like it was tailored to her measurements, the sweetheart neckline tastefully giving a peek of cleavage and the hem falling just above her knees. Her toned calves will be on full display when she slips into a pair of black heels.

But she can't think about later right now.

Liv is the portrait of content and Bonnie is loathe to do anything to bring back that endearing scowl of hers. Grabbing her toiletries, she slips out of her dorm and down to the bathrooms.

It's early for a Saturday. Just after 7am so she washes up without distraction. Brushes her teeth and rids her skin of salt in one of the porcelain sinks. Watching her face in the mirror, she sees what effect the dreams have had on her. Dark under-eye bags and sallow skin. Her cheekbones are more pronounced, sharper, but she swears she hasn't lost weight. At least, she doesn't think she has.

She leaves the empty bathroom, returns to her room and can't bring herself to stay, to return to her bed. She takes her phone, her keys, and a sweater, and leaves. She has no place else to go. Not in Converses without socks, a tank top with no bra, cotton shorts meant for the eyes of no one with whom she doesn't share a roof.

Her cell phone vibrates, and in her shock she answers without looking at the caller ID. The voice on the other line tells her he needs to see her, so she obeys. Walks across campus, the wind summoning goosebumps on her legs. Cinches her sweater around her because what does Liv know? It's still spring and while fire is her go-to element, she can't help it if her limbs attract the cold. The sweaters stay.

She thinks nothing of strolling the sidewalks at this time of day, dressed like this. She thinks everything of there being one person who can cure this thing in her, and he called her before her brain could even piece it together.

The door is open before she sets foot on the bottom step, the ghost of him there and then gone in a blink. She follows him inside, shuts out the chill behind her. He appears with a steaming mug and she can smell the roasted coffee beans from here. Tucking into the cushion of the couch, she sinks and lets the heat from the mug warm her up. He sits at the other end of the couch, his own cup in hand, and watches her carefully.

"What do you know?" Kai asks and there is no sensuality in his tone. Nothing lighthearted, no amusement. There is worry, concern, a twinge of anger but directed at whom, Bonnie doesn't know.

"How did you know?"

He doesn't - or can't - answer that, his terse lips only pushing out his previous question. " _What_ do you know?"

"I don't know anything."

He glares at her, and she challenges that skepticism. "Really, I don't. I don't know what these dreams are or what they mean. I don't know how you know, but that's the least surprising thing about this. I don't even know if they're meant to mean anything. Maybe they're not real. Maybe none of this is. The only things that I know are real - my scars and waking up screaming."

"Bonnie..."

A tear slip from her eye and she sniffs. "Half the time I even think I made you up in my head. How sick is that?" She takes a sip from her mug, lets the scalding coffee settle on her tongue, but she refuses to meet Kai's gaze right now. Which is good, because his expression is one of pure rage. Kai Parker is a lot of things but a figment of Bonnie's sadistically masochistic imagination he is not. Of all things, how dare she blame herself for this?

He swallows, put his mug on the coffee table, and laces his quivering fingers together. Opens his mouth to speak but Bonnie hiccups on her sadness. "Why are you doing this to me, Kai?"

He softens his gaze on her, her cheeks washed in another wave of tears. He can now experience a visceral reaction to the cries of others that he's never before felt. Way back when his siblings' tears didn't phase him. Not when he'd siphon their powers, though they begged him not to, though they pleaded in agony. He'd been so clouded by his own anger and pain to care about his brothers' and sisters' begging for their lives. Even now, Jo and Liv couldn't reach the emotional center he'd developed the way Bonnie could. He hates it but in his mind, it's better than the alternative.

"I promise I'm not doing anything. I've been trying to stop, save you from this."

"What? Save me from what? You know everything and I know nothing. What's happening to me? To Liv? She's not right either. You have to know that, too."

He clamps his lips shut, so she tries a different approach. She's found the chink in his armor before and she knows she can do it again. Of that, she's certain. "Why do my friends hate me?"

"They don't," and he rolls his eyes. Things would be so much easier if how the others feel for and treat Bonnie could be categorized as hate. But when had things ever been easy?

"No, they do. You don't see the way they look at me. The indifference in their eyes."

"They do not hate you."

"Then why are you doing this to me? What is there to protect me from - if not them and not you?" She wipes the sleeves of her sweater over her face, drying her skin with little precision. "Why can't you just be honest with me? You can't do suspicious things and then wonder why I don't trust you."

"Here's what you don't seem to get," he sighs, "I'm a man of variables. Cause and effect. I can see and weigh all the possible outcomes but I can never quite predict how you're going to react. If anything, you'd punish me for things you let your friends get away with. Including murder. And I like being right. So, humor me when I tell you honesty might not be my best policy."

"Then what do you need from me?"

"What?"

"If you're right, about my friends, how I handle my life, then you must need something. By your logic, there's no other reason anyone should be, would be interested in me."

"You're not listening. That's what makes me different than them. I don't need anything from you, Bonnie." And he almost says it, almost lets it slip. The thing he's been saying with his eyes the moment he saw her in the hallway of that club. And every time he's looked at her since.

"But you want something? Don't you?" Holding her breath, she sets aside the mug and tucks her legs underneath her. The sweater she wears falls away from her chest and it occurs to her this shirt may be see through. If it is, Kai keeps a tight grip on his mask so Bonnie can't tell if he notices. Her stomach clenches but her anxiety remains inward, so when her fingers grasp the fabric and slide it down her shoulders and arms they do not tremble. "If you don't want my magic... If you don't want my help... All that leaves is me."

"What are you doing?"

"You want me. I think I always knew that. Deep down. Maybe I've known from the beginning. Why else give me so much attention? No one else does. Not like you do, anyway."

Her sweater puddles about her hips but Kai's eyes don't waver away from her face. "Bonnie."

"Maybe we should both just get it out of our systems," she concludes resolutely. It worked for Caroline and Klaus, didn't it? Do it and be done with it? She could give away that much of herself, she thinks. It's not like it so much more than giving up her life time and again.

Kai doesn't seem to agree. "You operate from not trusting me, liking me, nor enjoying my company. What's the point?"

"Things are different now, aren't they? I'm different. You're...you've changed."

He squints at her. "You don't believe that."

A flash of him shivering under her, his back flat and her knelt in the snow, his eyes pleading. _You have to believe me. I've changed._

 _So have I._

"I do. I do now."

She slips the strap of her tank off her shoulder but his hand interrupts its descent. He holds tightly to her upper arms and keeps his expression level but stern. "You're tired. You had a bad dream and you need rest."

"You're changing the subject."

"Ya know, I like us right now. I feel like we're in a good place." His eyes darken. "Don't make me something you regret."

The rebuff hurts. A warmth rushes throughout her and she doesn't like it. It's akin to embarrassment and it's gross to think Kai has that kind of effect on her. No, control over her. This attraction, this predatory dance they do with each other, she doesn't want to admit it's mutual but then why else is she here? Why answer when he calls? Why be anywhere alone with him?

And there is something there. Still undefinable on her part, but she likes this, too. It's morbid and makes her look in the mirror at herself a little less, but it's been a long while since she's gotten this much attention in a capacity that's beyond what problem she can fix, what trap she can set. When she talks, he listens. He pays attention and remembers things more keenly than she expects him to - because no one else does.

His acute awareness of her existence is as enticing as it is horrifying.

She sinks back on her heels, shoulders slumping forward. Her bravado and nerve both sufficiently squelched. "I dreamed Damon ripped my heart out of my chest - but not before I tried to do it myself." The smile that follows is purely self-deprecating. "It's probably another stupid dream but I get the strongest feeling you're right about my friends. And me."

"Oh, I know I'm right about them. But you? Do tell."

"It was _my_ hand, Kai. I put it in there. I do this to myself. Over and over and over." Her eyes well with tears again. "And the worst part of that nightmare is no one tried to stop me."

His fingers still grip her arms, his skin on her own, but for once she's not as scared. He won't siphon her and even if he did it's Expression and she's better off without it. What does scare her more than proximity, more than the danger in his touch, is how badly she wants a hug. To feel the embrace of another, whose sole purpose in that moment is to comfort her. And it scares her because she can't verbalize that desire. Vowing to melt someone's face off? No problem. But asking for something as simple as a hug? It's a risk she won't willingly court.

Kai's eyebrows knit together, calculating, then he pulls her into him and cradles her against his chest. Her body rotating midway to him, she lays against him with his chin resting on her head and his arms wrapping her up. It's new but not uncomfortable and the last thing she wants to do is make it weird. The thud of his heart beating vibrates against the shell of her ear and his scent - cologne or natural musk, she can't tell - is the kind she'd like to keep whiffing. She essentially lays on top of him, his muscles a cushion. Defined and taut but still soft. Warm and fleshy under the layers of clothes that separate them.

Having swallowed her emotion, the urge to cry has expired but she wonders how long they can remain just like this. "You're really good at this."

"Big family. Lots of practice."

 _x_

She awakens and Kai is nowhere to be found. Instead she sits up - from a plush pillow and a memory foam mattress. Her dress for the wedding is laid on the bed, Kai's bed, and Liv sits with her back to Bonnie as she fits on her shoes. She stands and slides the gold zipper of her dress upwards.

"Wha, what time is it?"

"Noon, a few hours 'til the wedding." She tosses a wink over her shoulder. "You're going to sleep your life away."

"Thanks, Mom."

"Kai called me. He didn't want to wake you. You had one of your bad dreams?"

Bonnie shakes her head to clear off the fog of sleep. Last thing she remembers is her and Kai on his couch, his lips on her forehead... But between then and now - nothing. She slept all the way through. No nightmares, no dreams at all.

She rubs her knuckles into her eyes. "Is he here?"

Liv turns to face her, smooths down her black dress with gold adornments. "He got a call he had to take. Coven business or whatever. Better him than me." She finger combs her curls and adjusts the bust of her dress for maximum cleavage. "But now the important question. How gorgeous do I look?"

"Drop dead."

Liv grins and Bonnie smiles - while pushing back the memory of Liv's corpse surrounded by shattered glass and bouquets. Liv holds her hands out, palms up, and Bonnie grabs them. "Your turn."

The girls ready themselves, chattering idly about work and classes. Spring break is approaching and neither have plans. Liv is displaced but also a little lost without Luke. Bonnie hasn't had a real spring break since high school. Tentatively, they plan to tuck away in Grams' cottage in Mystic Falls until something else pops up. Rodney actually scheduled to close the bar that week to visit family, so they're giddy for the free time.

Bonnie glides the zipper up her side when Liv's cell phone rings. The blonde frowns at the caller id.

"Dad?" Then she cups the phone to her ear. "Wait, Dad! I can't hear you." Liv hurries down from the loft and out of the apartment. Alone, Bonnie wraps her arms around herself and looks around the room. The bed is a king set up on a cherry wood box. The decor and color scheme match the downstairs. No nineties memorabilia, nothing to hint this space belongs to a man out of time.

Kai appears at the top of the stairs and Bonnie swears she never heard him come through the front door. He dons a navy suit, a white shirt with a banded collar, and a tidied amount of scruff on his face. Damn, does Kai Parker know how to clean up well, she grudgingly admits to herself. And by the way his eyes roam over Bonnie's body, he's thinking the same about her.

"You weren't there the whole time, were you?" She rolls her eyes. "Like you'd tell me the truth if you were."

"There's that not trusting me. I really thought we made a breakthrough earlier."

"I had a bad dream and you gave me a hug. Don't start picking out matching towels just yet."

He shakes his head, rubs his finger across his lip, and Bonnie is drawn to the movement more than she thinks she should be. He steps towards her and she retreats until the backs of her knees meet his mattress. He gives her a reproachful look because of course she should know better by know. If he's going to pounce, he'd be sneakier than that. Crouching in front of her, he runs his palms down her hips and gingerly grips the hem of her dress, his fingertips brushing her bare thighs. He rips off a piece of red fabric.

"What the hell?" she gasps. Not that she knew what he had in mind, but destroying her dress wasn't exactly it.

He glances up with heavy lids and a raised eyebrow. A tiny bit of magic wasps out and repairs the tear, like it never existed. He then tucks his prize in his suit jacket pocket. "Ta da."

Her phone chimes and she jumps, whips around, crawls across the sheets to find it burrowed under a pillow. Shaking off the heat rising inside her, she frowns at the screen and curls her legs at her side. "Liv texted. She has to pick up your dad."

She looks over at Kai, whose guarded expression can't disguise the enchanted haze in his eyes. She knits her brows. "Kai."

He blinks and he's back to cold and aloof again. "Yep?"

"Think you can give me a ride to the ceremony?"

He shrugs. "I don't see why not. It's not like you're my date or anything."

She nods to herself. Yeah, she'd forgotten about that formality. She had secretly hoped Liv would third wheel it with them. He holds out his hand, which she takes, and he helps her climb off the bed. She finds her footing on the cool hardwood floor - but not before falling against his chest.

She shakes her hair out of her face. "What happened to gentle?"

"I can be when I want to be."


	12. Chapter 12

**Author's Note:** Thank you to those of you who reviewed my last chapter. It warms me up knowing there are people still interested in the story. I know I am. I might disappear now and again, but this is one of the only big-chaptered stories that's stuck with me in all my years on this quirky little site. I promise we're getting there :)

* * *

xii.

Try as he might, Kai still hasn't completely acclimated to the present. The tell is how he acts in the car. His car. A newer model compact vehicle with all the bells and whistles. He grumbles about its incessant need to tell him everything. That the fuel gauge has fallen below seventy-five miles. The master key, which he lost somewhere along the way, sets the speed and volume controls and he can't override either. It even tries to talk when he's just trying to switch on the radio.

It infuriates him and amuses Bonnie.

"Why don't you just get another car?"

"There are not a lot of eighties model cars still on the road, I'm afraid. However, there is a baby blue Camaro we both seem to be fond of." He takes a second to wink at her before making a left turn through an intersection.

" _No_. Damon would kill you and then me."

"Been there, done that, got the t-shirt, and threw the lousy thing away." He momentarily lifts his hand off the steering wheel to make a flippantly wave. "Besides, consider me leashed. I promise I won't do anything without your express permission first."

"Yeah, whatever," she mumbles with a roll of her eyes. Noticing she's been absentmindedly rubbing her thumb over the part of her hem Kai magically restored, she folds her hands into her lap.

"No, really. I'll be on my worst behavior today, scout's honor."

"You mean best behavior."

"Same diff."

She can't help but roll her eyes again before gazing out the window. The countryside stretches for miles outside of Whitmore and the weather is ripe for a wedding. Gorgeous, bulbous clouds seem to move just out of reach of the sun. The temperature is perfect for how Bonnie is dressed. Not too cool without a sweater or shawl, but not too hot for the crushed velvet. She belatedly panics about whether it's appropriate to wear red to a wedding, but Kai's words echo in the back of her mind.

" _You're practically royalty_ ," he'd said. She's a Bennett witch, a responsibility and a privilege, she knows. Direct descendant of Qetsiyah and Amara and Sheila Bennett, their protégé. It may be about time she reveled in her lineage.

Then she remembers her own magic is still missing and how the ancestors feel about Expression, so reveling isn't quite the mood she's in right now.

Every few moments she checks her phone to see if Liv - or anyone - has texted her. Save for her background, a picture Liv snuck and snapped of them both at the bar one night, her screen remains blank. The closer they get to the property, the weaker the signal gets, so she sighs and resigns to an analog evening.

 _x_

Extending his hand, Kai grins and takes a deep breath, a soft wind ruffling his hair. "Isn't it a beautiful day for ritual sacrifice?"

Her hand in his, still in the passenger seat, Bonnie blanches and her blood runs cold.

"Joking!" His expression cracks to show her he is in no way serious. "Am I not allowed to joke?"

Gripping his palm tighter than necessary, she steps out and shuts the door behind her. "With your sense of humor, no. Absolutely not."

They parked in a line of cars leading up a dirt drive to a decorated barn. Guests mingle just outside and Bonnie catches Caroline whipping about, fussing at decorators about flowers and lights. Despite the stress and drama, it really is a beautiful set-up. Bonnie's dream only afforded her a glimpse of the wedding disaster's aftermath. No pretty dress or handsome date, just death and destruction. As per usual.

She catches a glimpse of Kai out of the corner of her eye. His spine has never been straighter or face so void of emotion, his hand resting lithely on the small of her back the only sign of softness. She wonders what he could possibly be steeling himself for but then she sees him. The man idly speaking with Liv and passing guests. The homeless man from Waffle House weeks ago.

Joshua Parker.

She halts for a moment and Kai stops with her. They make eye contact, their wary expressions matching the other's for different reasons. "That's your _father_?"

"The one and only. Unfortunately."

"That can't-" Her objections are dashed when Liv spots them and hurries them forward.

"Dad, this is the one I was telling you about." The blonde brings Bonnie into their space, hand on both her and her father's shoulder. Kai stands awkwardly between his nervous date and his ruthless father. "This is Bonnie Bennett, Sheila's only grandchild."

Joshua puts his hand forward to shake and makes intense eye contact with Bonnie. She obliges, expecting him to bring up her embarrassing mistake of assuming he was homeless, but he doesn't. He simply smiles tersely and says it's nice to finally meet her. He then affords the briefest of glances at his remaining son. "Malachai."

"Father."

His attention quickly returns to Bonnie. "Miss Bennett, my condolences. Sheila was a light. One of a kind, that woman. Her assistance to our coven was unparalleled."

"I imagine so. In my limited studies, I've yet to encounter a stronger line than the Bennetts. The Otherside, the source of immortality itself, the only spell and blood required to create prison worlds, sorry, _a prison world_ … I've got a lot to live up to."

Taken aback, he clears his throat, briefly casts his brown eyes at his daughter. "Indeed."

Kai and Liv both wear astonished and slightly amused faces. Flushing, Bonnie tugs Kai behind her and into the makeshift chapel. "See you inside, Liv."

"What was that?" Kai's deep bellied laugh echoes all the way through the threshold of the barn where seating awaits them. He lets go of her hand only to clutch at his stomach. "The look on his face. You made him look like an ass. Like, an actual donkey. Wow."

Her cheeks pulsing with heat, she tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. "What can I say? I've got a thing for putting Parker men in their place. Plus, the big bad coven leader should know that his greatest magic trick, that hellscape of a prison world, wouldn't have been possible without my Grams."

"Sounds like you're defending me." His palm finds the spot where his heart would be. "The new big, bad coven leader is touched, Bon."

"Don't be. That place really was a living hell. And don't call me Bon."

 _x_

Surprisingly, the entire ceremony goes off without a hitch. Damon stands as Alaric's best man, which makes sense, Elena is Jo's maid of honor, which makes no sense, and Kai doesn't kill a single Gemini witch. Well, since looks can't kill...

The assembly lets out into the yard beside the barn, which is now decorated with round tables for dinner, a dance floor under a canopy of twinkly lights, and a platform for the bride and groom - and their tiny parties - to sit and eat. To the left is a seven tier cake of which Caroline couldn't look prouder. The table the furthest away from the celebration is where Bonnie and Kai find themselves. Weaving through the fancy set-up, she jokes about the coven leader being asked to give a toast.

"I'm sure they'd be glad if I didn't even breathe while I'm here. And they'd be in large company." His eyes roam over the dispersing crowd, his family and coven members, none of whom seem thrilled at his presence.

"No take-backsies. You're their leader now. Not everyone likes whoever ends up president."

"Considering this was less of a democratic vote and more of a hostile takeover, I don't think the comparison applies – but thanks all the same for the ego stroke, Bon..." He earns a glare for that, so he finishes with " _nieeeee_."

He pulls a white wooden folding chair out for her and rotates his own chair to face her, away from the party. "I got you something."

Suspicious, her brow furrows as he cups air in his hands on the cloth covered table. When he opens them, there's a small plastic statue there. A brunette bride and groom. "Ta-da."

Her jaw drops. "Kai! Put it back," she demands through clenched teeth.

He shrugs and instead stuffs the wedding cake figurine into his pants pocket. "It's not like they can eat it," he mutters.

"So much for best behavior…" she cynically mumbles.

"Oh, now I can't have a little bit of harmless fun, Bonnie? If I don't put it back, what's the worse that'll happen? Your gal pal Caroline will give herself an aneurysm? _This_ is me being harmless."

She sucks her bottom lip between her teeth and bites down. He's uncouth, sure, but he is Kai Parker. Her dream showed her just how bad he can get. Stealing a plastic trinket is cherry pie in comparison. "All right, fine, whatever. I'm not your dad."

"Thank goodness for that."

Because they are two of the few people already sitting, a blonde waitress brings by two glasses and a bottle of pink Moscato. She silently pours the wine then looks around at all the other guests either mingling or trying to get a glimpse of the wedding photos taking place inside. She plops the bottle down and chuckles in spite of herself. "Screw it. Just keep it."

With that she walks away.

Shocked, they both watch as she strolls off in the direction of the cars until she disappears in the distance. While Kai blinks, his mind trying to wrap itself around the strangeness of the moment, Bonnie's lips turn up in a smirk. She grabs the bottle by the neck and shakes it at Kai to get his attention.

"Now this is cheap wine. Less than ten bucks at the grocery store and guaranteed to taste good." Downing half of her glass, she shivers from the alcohol and, well, everything. This day feels surreal, as if _this_ is the dream and any moment she'll wake up on the floor of the barn with a collapsed lung and shattered hope.

She catches Kai staring at her and makes a face. "What?"

He shakes his head, with raised eyebrows, and pushes his glass out of his reach. "Nothing. Just lamenting the fact that I have to drive or I'd join you."

"We could always Uber."

He frowns. "Was that supposed to be English?"

"God, you're old!" she laughs an actual laugh that she doesn't attempt to hide or stifle. Kai traces her cheeks, crooked grin, sparkling green eyes with his own gray ones like he's memorizing her. Just like this. Sure, she's laughing at, not with, him, but he made her do that. He's the impetus for that sound, that smile, that...joy. He's never done that before.

"It's your turn," Liv exclaims, collapsing in one of the chairs at their otherwise empty table. She kicks off her heels, rakes her fingers through her hair, and stares pointedly at Kai.

He deadpans, "I don't get it," noticeably cooler to his sister than he was moments before with Bonnie.

"Babysitting Dad? Luke and I used to take turns at whatever Gemini shindig we'd get invited to. You won the merge against Luke, which means some part of him is in all of _that_ ," she pauses to gesture at his chest with a swirling motion. "Ergo, it's your turn."

He exhales sharply through his nose and Bonnie can somehow guess what he's thinking. The great coven leader having to babysit a grown man, watch out for the father who never did the same for him, with none of the faculties to say no. It's written on his face or maybe she's just gotten good at reading him.

Bonnie excuses herself to the ladies' room as the siblings discuss their family matters.

"Sure. Fine. Where is dear ol' Dad?"

"Um... Oh. I dunno."

 _x_

Caroline's slacking, but then again she is only one person. The only bathroom is in the stables behind the barn and up a small staircase. It's not as ornately decorated as everything else and vaguely smells of horses. Well, horse shit. A roll of scratchy paper towels on the sink and a pump bottle of vanilla scented hand soap. Bonnie tries to not gain secret satisfaction for finding the one thing that isn't perfect. What was she expecting, the Taj Mahal?

She wonders if this is what it feels like to move on. The people who she thought would be a part of her life forever have slowly drifted away, and it's like this was intended from the start. What hurts the most is the apathy. Their apathy. How little Caroline and Elena and even Damon have tried to bridge whatever chasm is between them. As much as Bonnie has done, how often she'd been willing to kill herself for them... Like the waitress said, screw it.

There's a knock at the door as she dries her hands. She yells she'll be done in a minute and takes a quick moment to look herself over. The wine has touched her, her skin light and ticklish and her lower eyelids a tad bit swollen. Other than that, she is a smoke show. That much she can tell from Elena's and Carolina's scandalized expressions earlier and Damon, Stefan, and Matt's appreciative ones. She's never one to draw attention to herself, but she doesn't hate it either.

It doesn't hurt that Kai's eyes haven't left her all evening, but she won't go down that mental rabbit hole.

Tugging down the hem of her dress, she gives herself a big, white toothed smile in the gold framed mirror, and starts for the door. She jolts when she realizes it's Joshua Parker waiting. Averting her gaze, she scoots past the man.

"Miss Bennett?" he says and she cordially turns to face him, one of her hands already on the railing of the stairs. She's about to open her mouth to respond when "motus" falls out of his mouth and she is shoved right back into the bathroom. Her lower back hits the marble countertop, which makes her cry out in pain, but he is on her before she can counter a spell. The light bulbs burst leaving her in the dark with the eldest Parker's hand clamped to her mouth and door locked shut.

This is when she wishes she hadn't turned off her cell phone.


	13. Chapter 13

**Author's Note:** I was told to update ASAP ROCKY and I really couldn't argue with that.

* * *

xiii.

"I sincerely apologize for startling you, but I didn't know how else to get you alone."

Bonnie shoves Joshua Parker away, relishing the sound of his back slamming against the door of the small bathroom. "I can tell you attacking me isn't the way. Ever. Now I know where your son gets it from."

"Again, I am sorry."

They listen to the sound of the other person breathing for a while before she breaks the silence. "You recognize me, don't you? From that night at the diner?"

There's dead air before he says "yes". He'd originally nodded before remembering there's no light.

"I didn't know you were... _you_ then. I just thought you were some guy in need of a meal."

"I appreciated the sentiment. Sheila raised you well." Then he adds, "You resemble her when she was younger..."

"What do you want, Mister Parker?" She steers the conversation away from talks of Grams. He wasn't at the funeral nor could she remember if any Gemini witch tried to make contact after Grams' passed, so belated condolences mean nil to Bonnie.

"You feel it, right? The gaps?"

"Gaps?"

"Loss of time. Like you're being reset over and over again. I was feeling the after effects of a restart when we encountered each other that night. I now understand your assumption that I may have been a transient."

"No." She pauses, the suspicions she can't quite get to lie dormant bubbling inside of her. "But Liv does. She has these glitches. She'll space out for a few seconds but can never give me a solid reason why."

He snaps his fingers and the sound startles Bonnie. "Exactly!" he exclaims in hushed tones. "And the dreams? You have those or only Olivia?"

"I have dreams. Nightmares, more like it."

"They make you question what reality is real. Or whether this wedding will end in a massacre."

"Every second of every day," she breathlessly admits. It really isn't just her. And he mentioned the wedding specifically, she notes. What the hell could that mean? The tension eases and she dares to imagine the man smiling in the dark. "You think your son has something to do with this."

"You obviously do. Why else would a Bennett be slumming it with a Parker?" he comments wryly.

"I wouldn't call it slumming… Liv's my friend. And Kai desperately needs one. Maybe that's what he's needed all along."

"Malachai needs help, Miss Bennett."

"Which the better part of two decades in a prison world didn't give him, _Mister Parker_. Respectfully, if Kai's done something, we're more likely to get it out of him with honey, not vinegar."

"He happens to be allergic to bees."

She's thankful for the dark so he can't see her roll her eyes. "Excuse me, Mister Parker." She hears him shuffle aside and when she finds the doorknob, she stops. "Answer me this. How many prison worlds are there?"

He pauses. "Just the one."

"Right…" With a twist of the knob, she opens the door and doesn't look back.

 _x_

The reception is in full swing when Bonnie returns to the yard. Couples dance to upbeat Motown music, Jo and Ric are in the process of wiping vanilla cake frosting off each other's faces, and the waiters and waitresses can't refill wine glasses quick enough. She starts toward the table in the back when Liv, flushed from dancing, grabs her hand and yanks her onto the dance floor. They uncoordinatedly amble until Bonnie's swept up in the arms of their boss Rodney.

"Hi! What are you doing here?"

He grins. "Family of the bride."

"Did I not mention that?" Liv asks, twirling to Marvin Gaye - if Marvin Gaye ever had a mosh pit at his shows. "Sorry, slipped my mind. Rodney's a distant cousin."

"Very distant. Oregon and Tennessee are two different universes, more like, but family is family and the booze is free!" He spins Bonnie right into Liv's arms. The girls stumble to the edge of the dance floor where Bonnie finally gains her balance.

"I know I didn't get a wedding gift, but I don't think I deserve whiplash." She wipes her hair back from her face then stops. "Wait, Rodney's a witch?"

He's out of earshot but still waves at his former dance partners. Liv shimmies in front of Bonnie trying to get her to do the same. "Yeah, couldn't you tell?"

"I never get a magical vibe from him."

"Weird. I figured you having Expression and him having dabbled in it might've tipped you off. You didn't really think those were tattoos, did you?" She nonchalantly shrugs. "What do I know? I'm just a boyfriend-less, twin-less twin with nothing to live for! Woo!" She raises her hands in the air and spins back to Rodney.

So Rodney is a Gemini witch who'd practiced Expression? He doesn't seem like the type to have gotten wrapped up in Silas' web, but then again she thought herself better than that, too. How had that never come up in conversation, though? If he was a witch, then he knew she was one as well.

"She took the bottle before I could stop her," Kai's words interrupt her train of thought. He stands at her side and his hand goes to rest at the small of her back, which she instinctively swats away. Plus, it still throbs from being thrown into the bathroom.

She turns on her heel to face him. "I spoke with your father."

His cool demeanor resurfaces. "Really? How'd that go?"

Seeing how quickly his expression changes, all of Bonnie's bravado dissipates. Honey, not vinegar, she reminds herself. "Not bad. I think he realizes he won't win any parenting awards, but he is at least concerned."

"About?"

"You. …Leading is not as easy as it looks. And you being indisposed for a chunk of time may not have worked in your favor."

He searches her eyes, digging for more, but that's all she's offering. "Gee, that's swell of him."

A waiter passes and Bonnie grabs a glass of champagne and downs the whole thing in a few gulps. "Yup yup yup. Super swell of him," she lies.

Sensing she's uneasy, Kai gently takes Bonnie's hand and leads her back to the dance floor. A much slower song plays, something Sam Cooke but the name escapes them. She doesn't swat away his hands when he places them on her waist nor does discomfort paint her face when she sets her hands on his shoulders.

Looking around, she notices how Stefan has to drag Caroline away from a caterer with a lightbulb just to get a dance out of her. Damon and Elena sway a ways away, their faces looking in opposite directions. Beside Matt is Tyler sipping from a flask as he stares down Liv, who's currently dancing with Ric. Everyone is living their lives, just like Liv said.

She looks up at Kai, whose eyes are already on her. "Why do you look at me like that?"

"Like what?"

"Like you want to spoon out my brain and read my mind."

"I figure it's better than the alternative."

"Which is?"

"Actually spooning out your brain."

"You're not funny."

"I'm hilarious. I just have to grow on you."

She goes warm at the way he says "on you", and has to drop her gaze to his pocket square. That small piece of red velvet. The piece that's real - as opposed to the fabric that's now a part of her dress. One's real and one's an illusion.

"Which you? The one you pretend to be or the real you?"

"You think I've been pretending? This whole time?"

"No. But you could start by telling me the truth."

"Which truth?"

"The truth of what you did."

He pulls her closer to him until there is no room between their bodies. She can sense each heartbeat, every inhale and exhale, how calm he is compared to how frantic her internal systems are going. The pressure of his pelvis against her own...

"The truth is..." He leans forward until his lips brush her ear, his breath hot. "The sun rises in the east and sets in the west. Matter cannot be created or destroyed, only transformed. An object in motion will-"

"Not what I mean," she sighs as she tries to put some space between them, but Kai is latched on tight. With his arms around her waist, he isn't leading, he's practically pulling her strings like a puppet.

"Then tell me what you mean."

"I expressly want you to let go of me-"

Instantly she's out of his grasp, his arms at his side and palms facing out as a sign of surrender.

"- for starters..." she catches her breath. She hopes she's not attracting attention. The rest of the world tends to fade into radio silence when she's around Kai. "You're hiding something from me."

"Yes."

"What?" He only blinks at her. "My magic originally manifested itself as premonitions. Dreams. I know something's wrong here."

"Are you alone in your suspicions?"

"Yes."

He tilts his head and squints. "Are you lying to me?"

"Does it matter? You're lying to me."

"So it's tit for tat now, is it?"

"It always has been," she corrects him, her arms folding across her chest. They stare each other down, neither willing to bow.

"Sorry to interrupt this lovers' quarrel..." Damon appears at their side, throwing his arms around both of their shoulders. "But if you'll take a look to my right, you'll see the twin-less wonder starting to make a scene."

Their attention moves in the direction of the barn where they spot Liv hitting Tyler. Not that hitting is the right term. She drunkenly alternates between slapping her palms and beating her fists against his chest. He's taking it, but it's obvious he's only doing so as to not bring any more attention to the two of them.

Frowning, Bonnie backhands Damon in the chest. "Don't call her that!" she reprimands before making her way over to her friend.

Her heels want to sink into the soft grass, the air growing humid and sticky, but she rushes over and manages to pull Liv off of Tyler. "Hey, it's okay, Liv. It's okay."

After peeling Damon's hand off of his shoulder, Kai's not far behind. He gets Bonnie to trade his sister for the former hybrid and grips her flailing arms by her side. Dragging her to his car, he tosses Bonnie a look that reads "party's over".

Shivering where she stands, Bonnie turns to Tyler. "What the hell did you say to her?"

" _Me_? She started it. She's hot. She's cold. One minute she's all in, the next she's trying to get herself killed."

"She may not look like it, but Liv's still mourning. It wasn't just her brother who died. Luke was her twin. He's all she's ever known."

"I get that. I do, or at least I'm trying..." He scratches at his sparse facial hair and then pulls his flask out of his suit jacket. "But I'm not the one drunk at my sister's wedding going around screaming about how fake people are."

"What?"

"She just kept hitting me and saying 'you're not real! You're not MY Tyler.'"

"What'd she mean by that?"

"The hell should I know?" As if there isn't an open bar, he gulps down whatever he's sneaked in and sucks in a deep breath. He lifts his eyes over Bonnie's shoulder then points. "I think your boyfriend's waiting."

She doesn't have to turn around to know he's referring to Kai. "He's not my boyfriend."

"Well, whatever he is to you, he's waiting."

She strolls down the lane to the car, where Kai stands with one foot in the dirt and one on the door's edge. Approaching she sees Liv tucked in the backseat passed out and wrapped in Kai's jacket. "How's your father going to get home?"

"He's resourceful. I'm sure he'll figure it out." The music from the reception echoes down the dirt drive, and he sighs. "Not exactly how I saw this night going."

He opens the door for Bonnie, and she waits a beat before sliding into the passenger seat. "Me either..."

The ride back to town is a quiet one. Bonnie powers on her phone, not like there are any missed messages or calls awaiting her. Preferring the silence, neither bothers with the radio. Kai does ruefully admit he would turn the heat on for Bonnie if he knew how, but she figures it out, rubs her bare arms until the temperature becomes comfortable.

They drive to campus, but the quad is alive with spring break partiers and students packing up their cars for the week's vacation. One glance at the busy dorm and Bonnie's audible sigh is all Kai needs to make a u-turn and head to his place.

Bonnie watches on as Kai carries his sleeping little sister up the stairs to his apartment, settles her on the couch, and covers her with a nearby blanket. He busies himself with straightening up the living room and kitchen, not that there's a thing out of place. He works fluidly, completely at ease in his own skin, and she wonders how many years of solitude it took him to find loneliness as a natural state of being.

And it still doesn't sit quite right with Bonnie. This thing, equal parts attraction and repulsion, that has her orbiting Kai Parker. Keeping a small amount of distance to throw off suspicion of her own feelings but still close enough to keep a watchful eye on him and whatever he's plotting, whatever it is he has done. Because she won't drop it. She may not know what it is, but she knows what it isn't. Something's not real. Or it's veiled. Distorted. She can't pinpoint exactly what or where the marker is, what curtain to snatch back.

So maybe that's why she doesn't leave. Liv is asleep and, sure, Bonnie can reason he can put some spell or pox on the blonde if left alone. But curiosity wins out and why go when she's so close? The walls between them are practically rubble now. All she has to do is sift through the dust and rock.

Depositing her heels by the couch, Bonnie pads across the hardwood floor. Kai's in the kitchen, washing out their mugs from this morning, a lifetime ago it seems like. He glances up at her approach but continues cleaning. She takes that as a sign that he's purposefully baiting her to make the first move.

"I hate to admit it, but I had a nice time tonight."

"Told you girls like weddings."

"That was actually the first one I've ever been to."

"You're kidding." Bonnie shakes her head. "Huh…" He takes this revelation in, struggling with what to do with it. He wrings out the sponge with excessive strength.

"Want help?" she offers.

He stares at her for a long time, expression even, and then he sighs as if he's resigned himself. "You can go upstairs and make my bed."

"Is that a joke? Or a trap?"

"Neither. Just...you were the last one to sleep in it. I think that's a fair request."

Frowning, she goes for the metal staircase and ascends, the wrought iron steps biting into her soles. She allows a look behind her to see if he's following, but the sound of the sink and cutlery continues.

Bonnie hates how much she likes Kai's bedroom. It's mature and open and his bed is so damn comfortable. It's as if he took the effort to keep the decor throughout the whole apartment consistent - or he killed the previous owner and decided not to change anything.

She sets into straightening the bed. While she slept dreamlessly, she made a mess of the sheets. Though, remembering how comfortable the mattress is she almost decides to lay there with her thoughts for a little while. Then she shudders at the idea, starts to yank at the corners of the sheets.

Her phone slides out of her grasp and down to the floor, so she drops to her hands and knees to retrieve it. It rests just under the edge of the nightstand. She tucks her fingers underneath and sighs when she barely touches her phone. Sliding it out comes with another find: a small ceramic red bird.

Trembling, she cradles the trinket and rises to her feet. It's identical to the one in her dorm room. Her breathing grows shallow, her mind racing. He _has_ been watching her. How, she doesn't know but it's enough to know she hasn't been paranoid. She's been right this whole time.

"Bon..." Kai sighs behind her. Whirling around, she finds him standing breaths away from her, a knowing glance on his face. "I really thought I was done with magic tricks today."

Before she can react, he places the tip of his forefinger to her forehead and the world goes black before her back hits the mattress.

* * *

 **AN:** Yes, minstorai, I do think Bonnie shops exclusively at Free People and I want to know how! Their shit's expensive for a group of young adults who don't have jobs. Which Salvatore is buying her clothes, huh?


	14. Chapter 14

xiv.

"Damn it!" Bonnie jolts awake at the sound of Liv cursing and slamming shut her dresser drawer.

Sitting up, she rubs her swollen eyes. They're in their dorm room, Liv scavenging for clothes. When she finds a top she likes, she slings it into the gray duffel bag at her feet. She grins to herself when Bonnie stirs. "Morning!"

"How are you not hungover? You were blackout drunk last night."

"I don't _do_ hungover."

"I never realized they were optional..." She scratches at her scalp and yawns. "Was I out all night? I don't remember coming back to campus."

"You've never slept better. Or quieter, at least."

Bonnie racks her brain. She knows the wedding was pleasant, no one died at the very least, but her magic is giving off serious alarm bells. Though, even with the Expression primed to attack at the slightest stimuli, she can't shake off this murkiness. Like she downed a bottle of nyquil. She didn't drink that much at the wedding, did she? "I must've I fell asleep in the car."

Another drawer slams shut. "Are you kidding me?" A sigh. "I hate and I mean really hate to do this... Bonnie?"

In her drowsiness, she manages to lift in her eyebrows in expectation.

"Okay. Once upon a time Jo planned to merge with Kai. Like, a few months back and I was her mentor. We all kind of camped out at the boarding house and I now realize I may have left some clothes there."

It takes a moment for the witch to muster some kind of response, but her expression settles amongst what Liv anticipated: confusion, anxiety, and dread. "It'll be quick," Liv rushes to say. "I go in, grab my stuff, and get out. I won't even start any fights. Well, no promises."

It's curious that Liv is so adamant about this. They are just clothes and the blonde hates the Salvatores almost more than anyone she knows. One would think her natural reaction would've been "eh, forget it." Then Bonnie remembers that it's just her and Liv in Mystic Falls for spring break. No classes or work to interrupt their time together. They may actually bond, and her stomach quivers at the notion. This could be a way to solidify their friendship. Like when girls go to the bathroom together. "Yeah, sure, that's fine."

She climbs out of her covers and crawls to the end of her bed. On the floor is her own gym bag which looks to be full. Without having to ask, Liv admits to packing it for her.

"It's eight in the morning. How much coffee have you had?"

"None. I just feel really good today, ya know?"

"Do you remember getting in a fight with Tyler last night?"

"Mm, no. I mean, I know I danced a lot and drank." _A lot_. "I dunno, I just feel re-energized." She shrugs, and the nonchalance sets Bonnie on edge.

"You hear from your dad yet?"

"Why would I?"

"He rode there with you, right? I mean, did he find a ride home? Do we need to go to the farm to get your car?"

The blonde crinkles her face and cocks her head. "What the hell are you talking about? I drove Dad back last night. Well, he drove _me_ here and then I called him an Uber."

"No, you left with me and Kai. You were passed out in the backseat of his car - after you told Tyler he wasn't real, that he wasn't _your Tyler_."

"I think you're still dreaming, Bennett. I didn't talk to Tyler at all yesterday. And I definitely rode back to town with my dad."

"Damon saw you, Liv."

"Yeah, okay..."

Bonnie wants to argue but she bites her tongue. She's grown tired of her reality being tampered with, her sanity being questioned, but she's positive Liv is mistaken. Instead, she pushes through her lethargy and tries to recollect for yesterday's events. The bad dream. Kai being a surprisingly good listener. The tame wedding. The barely eventful reception. Liv getting belligerent with Tyler was par for the course in regards to ceremonial drama. How was that the night's only hiccup?

In the silence, Liv stops stuffing socks in her bag and glances at Bonnie. The other girl's apprehension is palpable, her green eyes squinted as she delves deeper into her thoughts. Something _is_ wrong. She sighs and plops down beside Bonnie on her bed. "I remember the ceremony and babysitting my father and dancing with you and Rodney and Ric."

"I danced with you and Rodney," she counters, shoving a fallen spaghetti strap up her shoulder. "And Kai. Then Damon came over to us because you were hitting Tyler, and then Kai helped you to his car where you passed out."

"Really? See, I remember dancing and then my dad being really stuffy about wanting to leave, so we left." She furrows her brows. "Did anything weird-weird happen?"

"I want to say something did, it's like a gut feeling, but I can't grab at it."

"With Kai?"

"Everything with him is weird-weird. But, yeah. Something definitely happened with him. And maybe something...else? I don't know, but my magic is going haywire so who knows?" Something scared her last night and she can't shake it. Kai was at her side the entire time, his eyes on her face, hand at the small of her back. He was as perfect a gentleman as Kai Parker could be.

She looks across the room towards her desk. The red ceramic bird stares back. For a reason she can't place, she shudders. "Forget it. Let's just get out of here."

 _x_

They pack their belongings into Liv's car, and Bonnie punches the address to her Grams' house as a destination into Liv's GPS. "Actually, can we make a quick detour first?" Liv cocks up her eyebrow but says nothing. They both know where Bonnie needs to go.

He opens the door within seconds of her knocking and he's still in lounge clothes. Thin, plaid pajama pants and a beige henley. She shuts the door and walks with him to the couch but refuses to sit. He offers her coffee or tea, which is a non-starter. "What did you do?"

" _Good morning, Kai._ Good morning, Bonnie. _Beautiful weather we're having, isn't it?_ Gorgeous. Just gorgeous."

" _What_ \- did you do?"

"You're going to have to be more specific."

"You're getting sloppy. Liv and I remember two very different ends to our nights."

"Really?" He ticks his head to the side and blinks. "What do you remember?"

She purses her lips. He doesn't need the details. It doesn't help that she's foggy on the specifics either. "It doesn't matter. What does matter is you won't get away with this. You're going to make a mistake. A big one. It's inevitable."

"Is it?" He pushes himself off the couch and approaches her. Pinches the collar of her black v neck between his finger and thumb. His eyes don't go lower than her neckline, but he appreciated the view of her in denim short shorts when she barged in. "I don't think I properly told you how beautiful you looked last night. Red really is your color."

She slaps his hand away, but he catches her wrist. "I'm being sincere."

"I don't care." She wretches her arm from his grip.

"Then why are you here?"

"You took something from me."

"I actually took a few things. You really have to be more specific here, Bon."

"My memories, for starters. Something happened last night and I want to know what. So give 'em back."

He sucks air between his teeth. "I can't do that."

"Can't or won't?"

"Either?"

She pushes him squarely in the chest and he stumbles back, catching his balance on his bare heels. His face says he's tempted to do the same to her, but he bites it back. Breaking through the last curtain of drowsiness, she perks up, her bravado coming out to play. "Aren't you the big bad coven leader? What's the worst thing that could happen if little ol' Bonnie Bennett finds you out, huh?"

Unfazed, she steps towards him. "What are you so afraid of?"

" _You_." His nostrils flare, and that is not the answer Bonnie expected. He sucks his teeth. "It may be hard for you to believe and even harder for me to admit, but I am trying to save you."

"From who?"

"Yourself."

"So...my missing magic and my memories? That's all you?"

He scoffs. "Who else would it be?" But then his lips go into a hard lining imaging all the possibilities she might be thinking of that are not him, and he wonders how long that list might be.

"You could just be honest with me."

"We've been to that rodeo."

"If that's true, if I'm such a danger to myself, don't you think letting me in on it... I could help."

"I've given you chances."

"Then give me one more." It occurs to Bonnie that she doesn't have the upperhand here and maybe she never did. She may have Kai's affections, but he has information. He's definitely the type to take a mile if she gives him an inch, but she's at her wit's end.

She holds her arms out, palms facing the ceiling. "Fine. Here."

He furrows his brows, his eyes narrowing sharp on her. It's a trick, he thinks. It's always a trick.

"It's Expression," she shrugs. "But it's still magic. Take it."

"I can't - I left it with you for a reason."

"Then you should know the last time I had Expression, it killed me." She juts her wrists out emphatically. "If that's what you worried about. Danger to myself, right? Take all of it." It occurs to her this parallels them in that spit of a prison world. Only now instead of calling his bluff, she's damn near pleading.

He steps towards her, takes hold of her arms at the elbows, and sighs. His gray eyes gaze down, masked intensity baring down at her. "Bon-"

She interrupts him by meeting his lips with her own. There's no hesitation, no immediate shock to overcome. Like it's second nature Kai pushes her against the wall and grabs her, holds her to him with his hands at the nape of her neck. He tastes like coffee and peppermint and she instinctively cleaves to him, fingers gripping his sides, as if her legs might give out and the ground will swallow her up.

He's a controlled animal on her, not so ravenous that he can't savor this. A starved lion devouring a gazelle during famine. He'd suck the marrow out of her. She realizes she's the same, her mind telling her she's kissing him for a reason but her body wanting to ignore her motives. He's warm, his lips pillowy, and he's gentle like he doesn't want to hurt or scare her off but firm because he knows she's not fragile. If anything shocks her back to reality, it's how _right_ this feels.

She tries to come up for air but Kai captures her again, brushes his lips along hers, presses kisses along her jaw, down her neck. His scruff burns a trail across her sensitive skin. There's a dangerous warmth pooling in her core and she thinks this is as good a time as any. Mentally conjuring the Latin, Bonnie wills her magic outward. If Kai won't take the Expression, she'll make him take it. The heat of magic fills her up to her toes, at least she blames it on the power, and she can feel it licking for a target, but when she pushes it towards Kai, it clusters together like aiming a blowtorch at a concrete wall.

"Yeah. You really know how to ruin a moment, Bonnie."

Kai lifts his head from her collarbones and licks his lips. Cold amusement is present when he looks at her. "When I said can't, I really meant _can't_."

"But you're a siphon."

He swiftly turns away from her, his fingers at his tingling lips. Of course kissing him had been a distraction. His instincts are never wrong, but it doesn't mean she didn't mean it, he tells himself. Just that he has to work harder to get one out of her that's genuine. He strides over to the window overlooking the main strip, Liv's car idling below. He spies his bored sister playing with the sunroof, watching it glide open only to immediately slide it shut. "Loose ends."

Shoulders bowed forward in defeat, Bonnie stuffs her hands in the pockets of her shorts. "What?"

He spins to face her and crosses his arms. "Loose. Ends." His voice is light, as if he's convincing himself no harm, no foul. "I stole your memories to try and tie up loose ends."

"What, from last night?"

"Sure, okay. You and my father in the bathroom. Tyler and Liv fighting."

She frowns. "What happened with me and your father in the bathroom?"

"You mean you don't remember?" he chuckles. "The cliffnotes, then. You, my father, and my tenacious and downright pain-in-my-ass little sister are getting a little antsy, and I'm afraid if you find the right thread, this whole thing is going to unravel."

"What _thing_? Jesus, Kai, what did you do?"

"I did what I had to do, okay!" His eyes widen, their pupils dilating even in the bright room. His bites his bottom lip in an effort to calm down and walks back to Bonnie. "You kind of forced my hand, so desperate measures for desperate times, right?"

He gives her a manic little smile and Bonnie wonders if he's really changed from the guy he was so many months ago when they met in 1994. Maybe this is just a sick game to him and he's still the person who could gut her and not think twice about the blood when it splatters on his shirt. He raises his palms to her face again but lets them just hover. Close enough she can feel their warmth and the threat of however he could hurt her, but far enough she knows he's not going to completely crack.

"Oh, Bonster..." His hands settle on her shoulder, like ice drenching her. He'd only called her that once. From a video on long forgotten camcorder before that disaster wedding everyone keeps telling her didn't happen. How " _This is kind of all your fault"_ echoes in the back of her mind more times than she'd like to admit. Him using that name now... "I just couldn't let you die."

"What?"

"I have to hand it to you. You're really fucking perceptive, you know that? Can't say I expected any less from you, but would it kill you to let sleeping dogs lie?"

She slaps his hands away from her, but that only encourages him to step closer and hold her face tighter. Their wrestling is futile, though. Whatever game they're playing, Kai is in the lead by a huge margin. "What do you mean you couldn't let me die? What happened? What did you do?"

The Expression she unsuccessfully attempted to expel wells up within her, building in temperature and strength the more unhinged her emotions become. Sure, she could fight him, throw the entire spellbook at him, but he wouldn't give her what she wants. What she truly needs to know. The utter confusion and dread, it's ripping her apart to be so close to solving this mystery and Kai just won't budge.

"Please," she begs, her eyes glazing over with tears. She latches onto his wrists and holds tight, his body swaying against hers in a morose dance.

Kai purses his lips as he stares down at the distraught witch in his embrace. "I'm sorry, but it's just not the right time, Bon." There's no kindness in his tone. He's not sorry. This is a powerplay if she ever saw one.

She squeezes her eyes shut, tears leaking out, and tries to compose herself. Biting back the swirl of Expression is always the hard part. It doesn't hurt when she gives in, rides its wave, but it's painful when she fights it. She licks her lips and only once she's gotten a grip on herself does she meet Kai's gaze again. "Then when?"

"When it's time you'll be the first to know." He then boops her nose with his index finger. "Pinky promise."

She shrugs him off, not because she's grown tired of his touch. Quite the opposite. But it's hard to pull herself together when he's got such an intimate view of her vulnerability. Every encounter with him strips away the little bit of control she thought she had. She can't even properly gift archaic magic to a freakin' siphon.

Fists wiping at her wet cheeks, she sinks her teeth into her bottom lip and huffs. Spring Break. She has one week where presumably she'll be Kai-free. No one's made a move to invite him to Mystic Falls and he doesn't seem eager to join her and Liv anyway. She reminds herself a break from him, from Nancy Drew-ing will be good for her.

"So you're not going to give me anything?"

He grins, propping himself on the arm of his couch. "I did. You tried to pull one over on me. Again. Kissing me to distract from you trying to force your magic on me, which I told you wouldn't work. So now you get to spend the next week obsessing over the fact that - you kissed me. I mean, you _really_ kissed me."

Her eyes shutter closed because yes, she did. She really did.

After what feels like eons, Bonnie climbs back into the passenger seat of the car. Her friend takes in her restless energy and swollen lips.

Liv barks a laugh. "Nope. I am not gonna ask. Not doing it."

* * *

 **Author's Note:** I was told to update ASAP Ferg, but in my defense...I don't know who that is. I was also told I would be forcibly hugged for being trifling, and I really can't argue with that logic. But really, the Bonkamily on tumblr motivated me. I've been stuck trying to get from point A to B to C, but y'all really inspired me. The beautiful content from the BK Secret Santas and the love shown during BK Appreciation Week 2k17. Bonkai-Coven even made gifsets for/of "Horizon" scenes and that's never happened to me before! Plus, I've been on a bk bender, scoping out AO3, and I do not intend to stop now. So, yeah, I'm back in a _big_ way.

Happy new year to you and yours, and I'll see you topside in 2018!


End file.
